You Don't Need To Start A Website Yourself

Good Morning All.



Its another weekend. and its another really great opportunity to learn and create new things. I'm looking forward to continue to work on the roll out of my wife's website, and for us to also spend some quality time together. It'll be nice to fit that in amidst our constant hectic weekends. Gymnastics for the little one, cleaning, cooking meals for Stef for the week, and all the other things that seems to eat up a weekend.



Its hard to find the time to start something when you're working full time. I've been afforded the opportunity to get my little projects started without a job in my way for now. Its been a real boon. It's allowed me to learn, to experiment, an to really take my time with a lot of the aspects of the growth and implementation of my blog, and my you tube channel. It's been a really fun time. and even without a job in my way, I still feel like there's not enough hours in the day. I still have the channel art to fix, a real posting schedule to solidify for this site, optimization to set up for both...the list goes on and on. and then there's the projects that I've started that I haven't even had time to roll out. It can get a little overwhelming if you try to bit off too much, too fast. But I have this time available to me, and I want to make the best of it.



So how can my wife possibly start a website when shes working 50+ hour weeks? well, the plan is fairly simple. She won't. and you don’t have to either even if you don't have an unemployed husband. it all depends on the money vs time dichotomy.



Something that Is abundantly apparent to me now that I’ve worked on websites and the like for a few years: There is either time spent or money spent, there is no alternative.  You either spend time creating your own content, attracting your own customers, and making your own sales, or you pay someone else to do it. The ideas, though, those still come from you.



The work flow as we see it for my wife's website will give her full reign of product creation and for blog posting. she'll focus on creating the content and that's it. I'll handle all the back end stuff: the editing, the posting, the social media, the SEO and all of the other uninteresting garbage that websites do to attract users. I'll be brainstorming with her on these ideas and helping her develop them, but the content will be hers.



So many people nowadays start websites like this: they simply have an idea, and might start a simple blog (like this one) and then spend their time creating content, leaving all of the back end stuff to a "virtual assistant" who will generate the website, post the posts, do the SEO , and so on. It leaves the creator plenty of space to create if they can focus on that more entirely. I think that for us  its a great plan.



There are plenty of folks who won't don any of it at all, as well. You can just have the idea for a website, understand its basic outline for products or SEO or what have you, and then outsource it all: from content creation right down to back end. It costs money to have people write blog posts for you, but people have it done all the time.  And the funny thing is that it probably doesn't cost as much as you thought. Virtual assistants are cheap, relatively speaking, and it gives you a lot of flexibility because you can choose the one at the price and skill level that makes the most sense to you. There are a lot of websites that offer up different levels of VA's and at varying skill levels. For instance: if you're looking for a VA to build and maintain your website, then English skills wont be too important, and you can probably hire a very talented person from another country to do this work for you, and oftentimes at much lower prices than hiring the computer geek down the street. For blog post writing, or content moderation, you might want to select someone with better written English skills. The choices are completely up to you, and the wages vary from $2-5 an hour all the way up to competitive American hourly wages for very skilled VAs.



This gives even the busiest person the ability to see their vision come to fruition. Its really a great option. So with Stef using me as her VA, she'll be able to start her own online business without  having to spend the countless hours in a dark room lit by a laptop screen learning how to set up a website, or worrying about whether or not her website is SEO optimized, all using me as a kind of pretend VA. It'll be great. unfortunately for me the pay is a lot worse.  This will allow my wife the creative freedom she needs to write what she needs to write, create what she needs to create, and sort out the details as we work through everything. I'll be a little busier than normal setting everything up, but It'll be a really fun experience. In all, she'll have a nice clean website to present with her content all over it and I'll have created a really nice website. 



If you would like to learn more about VA's and other generally awesome ways to create your own websites, go check out www.fourhourblog.com

Until Next Time.  


Keep your eyes peeled on Sunday. I'm contemplating putting up a podcast of our brainstorming process for our website on the blog here. If you guys want to hear it comment below and tell me what parts you wanna hear us yab about.

The Case For Videogames

For those of you who know me: its no surprise. I love video games. I've played them constantly since I can remember. When I was maybe 5 years old, my parents got their first computer in the house, and I played Commander Keen on it every spare second I could get. I would sit in front of that computer for hours, beating the levels, and trying to learn new ways to defeat the monsters at each stage. It was a simple pleasure for a kid such as myself.



As I grew up, I started to play the Final Fantasy Series, Then the Metal Gear Series. Then onto Your Call Of Duties, The Elder Scrolls Series and on and on. I Must have spent thousands on video games in my life, only to often sell them off to Gamestop, or give them away to friends. Thanks to my love of video games, I've also made and kept some relationships alive across thousands of miles, and It gave me a great escape from reality without spending a lot of money, keeping me away from drugs and alcohol, and also teaching me problem solving skills in many cases. I know you've all heard that shit before. I will tell you know firsthand that it worked for me, just like every video game supporter says.



Yes video games are violent. nine times out of ten they're about blowing up or killing something or someone. Nine times out of ten the draw of the game is the flashy way in which you commit said murders. However it never seems as though that's the part of the game I remember fondly. I never think of the game as "wow, it was so awesome when i assassinated x" I usually remember these very story driven games by the characters and their interactions, the compelling story told through this medium, and how wonderful it is that you get to not only experience this world and its characters, but actually interact with them in this world that’s made just for you to play in. How amazing.



Its one thing to watch a TV show. Its one thing to watch a movie. You get to see the characters, interact with them, enjoy their stories, and then go on with your day. In video games you get to be a part of that story. You get to actually act out the hero's story, be a part of it, and become so invested in his success that you really, truly get attached to him, his friends, his loved ones, and really want him or her to succeed. It's one of the most interesting feelings in the world. Being able to spend time in this world, and do it from the comfort of your own couch. It's truly amazing to be able to experience a story through this medium, with a level of emotional investment that I don't think any other medium offers.



And this hasn't even gotten into the realm of online gaming. I have always been a true lover of online games. I even spent a good part of my childhood trying to play online shooters on a 56k modem (hint: it doesn't work) And I 've also spent many countless hours enjoying the luxury of high speed online gaming. This is another enjoyment entirely, where you can make great friends that are literally around the world. 5 years ago, this would be a creepy thing to say. People were very often still afraid of the trope of the "creepy online predator" who would collect your data and stalk you. Not the case anymore. The guys you meet online are well...normal guys (and gals) and they're a lot of fun to talk to, and to play games with. because who knew, when you play a game that people enjoy as much as you, you have a lot in common. I've made a few close friends over my tenure in the gaming world, all online. I've gone on to meet these folks, and build good relationships with them. It's a wonderful new means of meeting people whom you can feel comfortable around, and its truly wonderful.



I'm so glad that video games have been a part of my life. They gave me an insight into storytelling, and into friendships. and of course into team work as well. The Cast Chris and I host at (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk6s6apdzIO13oexYXcQIJw/feed?view_as=public) is just full of botched teamwork attempts, and its a great time. It's what makes the game so much fun: that you need to meet up with 4 other complete strangers and make the game work.  If you don’t, you lose. If you do, you win and summarily crush your opponents. There are about a million other small niceties to the game, but that's part of its charm: its a massive sea of techniques and abilities and items, all to be learned. Or just used completely wrong and thereby forcing a loss. Either or.



I shant ramble on any more about the joys of video games, but I challenge each of you to try them out if you haven't. Especially if you can find a good friend to play them with. Sharing something like a game of that nature is one of the true joys of life. Not so much the game itself, but sharing a story like that with a close friend, and enjoying each part together is one of life’s most simple, special pleasures.



If you guys really had a great times with video games in your childhood (and you still do) share the story in the comments.

Sometimes The Only Thing To Do: Is To Start.

I just looked down at the clock, realizing that this is usually the time I'm finished with this post and Editing it to put online. I hadn't come up with an idea yet. I had been thinking about what to write for a good 2 hours. Trying to think of a compelling topic, something that will be interesting, edgy, and fun to read. I got nothing. Perhaps too much taco bell last night. Perhaps I've run out of creative gas. perhaps this is what people call writer's block.



nonetheless, this writing method is supposed to be the unadulterated cure for writers block in any form. just writing. you cant not be writing if you're writing. It sound strange, but its really that simple. So here I am writing. I think that this simple act is an enormous victory for anyone who has done it. For anyone who has gone from not knowing what the hell to write, or to do, or how to deal with life, and the timer starts, and you're writing. You're making things. You're doing the opposite of what you were doing literally a second before: wallowing in self-doubt and not creating. It really is that simple.



I think as you go through life you realize more and more that the first step is the hardest. However  I've noticed that this seems to only pertain to things you do often. I look up now and realize that I've written 3 paragraphs already. I'm writing this quickly because I've been practicing for almost a month now. This is very similar to people who are lawyers, doctors, firemen, or whatever other profession you have. The first time a fireman runs into a burning building is the hardest, to be sure, but each time after that the protocols he's learned become more second nature, he understands whats safe and whats not, and he gets the people out more safely every time. That's the nature of practice. The first step is always the hardest.



However, as you get older, It seems that we forger that this rule goes for EVERYTHING, not just the job we've chosen. In the past month, I've started to teach myself  Video Editing. I literally know nothing about video editing. So how did i do it? well I started by....starting. I found a super beginner class, I sat down with a cup of coffee, and I followed along in Adobe Premiere Pro. I did that every day for at least an hour or so. I kept learning more, and making new videos for my you tube channel. I added animations, I fixed sound levels, I made sure they were in high definition (do'h) and people started to watch them more and more.  I started to get better and better at balancing sound levels, adding in cut bits of film, ripple deleting, adding transitions, and all the basics of video editing. How long did this take? according to the online course I'm taking, it took about 3 hours of classes that I watched intently, and maybe 15 hours of concentrated work on my own videos. 18 hours total? lets round it up to 20.



My videos are by no means professional. They are sometimes a little rough, and often the animations are intentionally silly to add that "home made" feel. Its also a that I have the skill to do currently. But I've learned a basic skill that I can transfer anywhere in about 20 hours. If I want to learn more about it (which I do) I'll just continue to take more classes on it and continue to grow my knowledge. That first step was the hardest. I didn’t even know how to get a video clip into premiere pro when i started. now I'm compiling multiple reels together into full video presentations. It's a great feeling to learn so much so fast. I challenge all of you to try it.



There are always "top 5 tricks for learning something new" or whatever else. There are no top 5 tricks. there are no top 3. There is a top one. Start. whatever you've been putting off, think about it. think about how good you'll feel when its done. Imagine the finished product of having that project done, or that new concept learned. Imagine how much fun it will be to learn about that new skill, or how east it will be to finish that task you've been putting off. Now get up and go do it. Don't be like me sulking around for 2 hours trying to think of what to write about, when instead I could have just sat down and started writing.



Its funny how as you become more skilled in one thing or another you decide that you couldn't possibly learn a new skill. I felt that way about quite a few things lately. It was strange how I was just sure that I could never learn to edit video. Now that I've started. I'm sure that I could become very good at it if I decided to continue to learn more about it. I'm convinced that I could learn just about anything If I just started. not even if I "put my mind to it" as we all like to say. But If i just started.



So that's my challenge for you today readers: Start today. Start something new that you've never done before that you've always wanted to try. I think for me today I will start to learn more about computer programming for more in depth websites.  I'll grab a class (Lynda is great and offer the first month free!) off line and watch the first few videos, and I'll probably be programming a really nice basic web page from scratch by the afternoon. I can imagine myself learning how to become proficient with programming, and making websites for my friends on the side for extra money. I can imagine continuing to learn these skills and using them for my own enjoyment, and who knows? maybe even for the enjoyment of others. Its that simple. Hopefully when you all come back to this page in a few weeks you'll be directed to  a much nicer, cleaner Web page for me which you'll all enjoy much more.



What will you start today? Why not a blog? a workout? a new diet? A new business? Maybe just clean our the garage you've been promising yourself you would get to. These are all possible. Why not try out a new sport, or try and learn how to program yourself! there are so many possibilities. Don't let this blog post limit you. but tell us all about it right below in the comments.



Until next time.

What do you guys want to hear about?

Good Morning readers.



So yesterday I had a post go semi-viral. A lot of people read my post about Edward Snowden, and I'm glad it connected with so many of you. It truly warms my heart that there is a group of people out there that believe in many of the same things that I do. I'm happy to say that I believe we are in the majority, and that in the end the constitution will prevail.



That being said, I'm truly at an impasse. I had kind of decided that the premise of this blog would be for me to write whatever I felt like, and then move on from there, as I learned more about what my readers enjoyed, and slowly move toward that in a more organic method. My political post has beaten out all other blog posts I've written insofar as readership by a factor of ten. I'm not sure what to make of that.



I had always wanted this blog to be an experiment in many forms.
1) to teach me how to write, simply by the act of writing every day.
2) to learn about how to grow a blog readership, and try to do it in an organic manner.
3) to help me get out some of the harder things to say to the world, whether its about myself, my family, or about bigger topics.



So far It seems that I've had some success in each of these. I've had quite a few people compliment on my writing style, and many more thank me for how candid I am on this blog. I'm glad you enjoy it, and I hope to keep you reading at least until the one year anniversary of this blog is up, and I decide to keep it going or not.



This brings me to a simple point: What do you guys want to hear me write about?



I've written about exercise with a toddler, I've written about Massive NSA spying. I've written about financial success, about family success, about depression, panic attacks, growth, death, life, happiness, and everything in between in just a few blog posts. At least that’s how it feels to me. So I'm wondering very truly what is the driving force behind my readership.



I have already organized an entire blog for my wife to work on, which will specialize in Finance, and "just starting out life tips for young female professionals. Would you all like to see a more "family oriented" family finance piece? I want to do that every Sunday, and go over what Stef and I are doing now, but I also wonder if you would find more value from more posts.



I've written my most successful blog post on something that I was sure would flop, because politics is something that's hard to write about. However It's become extremely popular. Would you all find value in a weekly writeup from me about politics? tell me!

I've written about my personal fitness journey. I've loved fitness since i started doing pushups in my room at the age of twelve. I've been doing body weight, at home workouts for years, and I prefer them to pretty much anything else. Would you guys like to see me write more about that? I've lost 25 pounds in the past 5 months thanks to calorie counting, and I've kept my muscle thanks to a few simple exercises. I'd be happy to write about that as well.



What I'm saying here is that  I have no real direction. I've covered many topics: some with great success, others with less. I could write about all of them in a mishmash of shit and nobody would read it. So let's try and hone them down into a few things that you guys would really like. If you have other ideas: Please share them. If you would like to hear about something more than once a week: Please tell me. If you would like me to guest post something on your blog: please ask! I'm always looking to help.



I'm coming up on the one month anniversary of writing this blog: so far I've gone from 5 readers daily to over a thousand daily. That's quite a growth curve, and I'm glad so many people are already connecting with the blog. However If I write crap in an all over the place fashion like this I feel as though I won't be serving you folks what you're looking for. so let's propose this for now:



1) a weekly post on politics (day TBD)
2) Sunday’s weekly post on mine and Stef's business
3) a weekly post on fitness
4) a weekly post on whatever the hell I feel like, for the rest of the time.



This schedule is subject to change because hey, its my blog. But tell me in the comments what you all would like to see. Or tell me via email at CharlesWManuel@gmail.com I'd love to hear what you're all looking for.



I'll keep this one short. Thanks for reading, and here's to (at least) another 11 months.

Open Letter To Mr. Snowden

This is the scariest thing I've ever written on this blog. This is the scariest thing I've ever had to admit. I want to write a blog post about Edward Snowden, and how I believe he's a true patriot. I want to write long, expansive paragraphs about the history of the internet, and how it was once the true bastion of information and liberty, and the government has taken it all away from us in light of terrorist attacks which they seemingly can't pin down, and can't fight properly. I want to write about how similar our phones, our computers, even our televisions now are to "loyalist spies" in pre revolution times, sitting there posing as friends at your dinner table, waiting to report any hint of rebellion to the crown, and to see you hang. I am modified to type this, and yet I feel as a true American, somebody needs to start. More specifically, somebody needs to follow in Mr. Snowden's footsteps, lest all of his sacrifice, his hard work, his thoughtfulness to the America that we all still believe in, is washed away by the sea of bureaucracy that he is so bravely fighting, along with the help of many others.



To those of you who have been separated from your loved ones, who have made the ultimate sacrifice of giving up your sense of self, and who have worked tirelessly to make this case against our own government for broad based spying: I salute you. Your patriotism will go down in history as one of the bravest acts of our time.



I want to badly to be a part of that, too. To help. And I think this is the only way that I can. For me, the stakes are too high. My wife and child need me. I need them. But with the same breath I realize that if we all think in that same manner "No, I'll just let them spy on me and say nothing about it, I'll let them hinder my free speech because I don’t want to be arrested" then they have won. They are winning. America was not built on a system of politically correct statements made to the right people. It was made on the basis of bold statements made to many people, stating how you felt about the state of things, and how important they are to you. As a true, and humble lover of the internet, and the freedom of speech that it gives and represents, I am sickened by the fact that The United States Of America, the country that holds itself up proudly as the one true shining light of freedom in a sea of darkness, is eroding those freedoms from behind the scenes in such a way that I have now just realized that I am afraid to talk about certain topics to my family in the comfort of my own home. I am afraid to talk about MY feelings about the government. I'm afraid to talk about my feeling on hot button issues. I'm sometimes afraid to mention where I'm going out loud in my own home. Some may say that its a deep level of paranoia, but I disagree. Having seen the way that cloud computing works, and its ability to simply "hold onto" every key point of data that you create throughout your day :making purchases, driving places, making phone calls, sending texts, speaking, and on and on, I know that if the government decides that you're a "terrorist", its lights out. They pull the data, they indict you, and you have no rights. Not only do you have no rights, but even if you DID, how can you possibly defend against that deluge of information that they pulled on you RETROACTIVELY?



Glenn Beck (love him or hate him) in light of the Snowden leaks said it best (preface: he's a crackpot, and goes back on his word all the time, we need a better masthead for true conservatism)



"I want you to let me record everything you do for one month: all of your phone calls, all of your driving and movement locations, all of your speech in proximity of a microphone, all emails, web searches, browser history, and anything else we can collect digitally. At the end of that month I will charge you with a crime you did not commit. Do you think you could win that court case?"



its a truly chilling statement.  There is no lawyer on earth that could save you from a court where such data collection is legal and admissible in court. None.



So I suppose what I'm trying to say here is Thank You Mr. Snowden. You are  in many ways a modern day patriot, where such people seem to have fallen into lockstep with the sea of others who believe that "if they have nothing to hide, then why should I be worried?" that is not the point, because by the time you are worried, your free speech will be gone. by the time you're worried, you will be instantly flagged for saying you dislike the president at your own kitchen table. By the time you're worried, you'll be marked as a terrorist for donating to a minority party. By the time you're worried, the constitution will be a bare husk of its former self, crushed under Patriot Acts, and NDAAs from 50 years hence, and a million other laws put out in a time of great fear for "national security"



How can we possibly fight such a behemoth? how can we stand up to the might of the US government? The fact that most of you read that sentence and thought it was a legitimate question is the first problem. We are a representative republic, and right now, we are not being represented. Our representatives in congress and the house are working for the highest bidder, pushing through laws that best suit their needs. The Executive branch is working overtime behind the scenes to collect and collate more data than has even been attempted in the history of mankind, with no oversight, no protocols, and no safeguards.  The time has come to take it back and the way is simple. We need to care about our government again.



I grew up in a family where our patriotism was close in step to our faith. The freedom that America gave us was something sacred to be cherished and held dearly, and although Christianity still came before it, America was a close second. Reverence for the flag was taught to me at a young age, and respect for our armed forces was as well. I still have great respect for all of these institutions, may they stay true to their promise to uphold the constitution.



So how to I care about my government? I vote. I learn about the different candidates. No not through the news. through VOTING RECORD.  voting record is all. that. fucking. matters. anyone who tells you anything else is a joker. If you want proof of this, look at Ron Paul's Voting Record. Libertarian no matter what. That's a true statesman. Look at his son's. Neocon. Abortion laws? Keeping Christ in government? Seriously Rand? Libertarian? Don't lie dude.



I could go on and on, but a simple Wikipedia search of your own congressman, your own senators, and any other political person you would like will give you the voting records. Read them, understand the laws they voted on. Ask your friends what they think. Make it a part of your life. Get to know your government, because right now it is pervasive into every last aspect of your life. If you want to take your government back, and make it into what you want, and thereby make America into what you want it to be, you need to care. You need to.



My 20 minutes is up. I'll write more on this if people are interested. but I want you to take away this. The government has gotten out of control and its nobody's fault but mine, yours, and everyone else's. This is our country. It always will be. We just need to make it into the country that we want it to be again, and do it the right way, the way the founding fathers intended.

A Toddler: The Ultimate Workout Partner?

Since its the middle of winter, its hard for my little one to get much exercise. We take her to the local bouncy house, or to a friend's house for a change of scenery at least a few times a week. But she really needs true, running around, hard breathing exercise. Everyone does. I can tell when she hasn't been run around enough in a day because shes cranky, she wont listen, and usually can't get to sleep either. It sounds a lot like me essentially. Especially the cranky part.



So I have decided, after years of looking for a decent gym partner, that my 3 year old daughter will now be my workout partner until further notice. Sorry Kai Greene, but I'm booked. To start out our fitness adventure together, I've started off with some simple workout videos online. I found a few you tube videos by personal trainers that were intended personally for kids, and we gave them a shot. There were two large realizations from these: 1) these workouts are actually a lot of fun, and a pretty good workout too. and 2) doing a workout in a manner to keep your child engaged, interested, and also doing the workout correctly is really, really really hard.



I am sore all over, because when you're doing a workout with a 3 year old, you have to make every move look interesting. Each pushup needs to be accentuated. Each jump squat needs to be progressively sillier than the next. Planks need to become a method acting class in making a bridge while your daughter crawls along your back for amusement. Its extremely exhausting, and probably the most fun exercising I've ever had.



I didn't realize that she wouldn't become a captive audience in fitness videos  until about 10 minutes into the first one, where she decided to sit down in the middle of the floor and read a book instead. That's when the performance came out, and man was that a hard workout. But Sophia followed along, and laughed the whole time, she she was very tired by the end. She even learned how to do frog jumps and pushups correctly. It was a great time, and was extremely healthy for both Sophia and me.



If you have a toddler, I challenge you to do something similar with your workout time. I have constantly used Sophia as an excuse not to workout "I can't go to the gym right now, I have to put Sophia to bed" for night time. " I'll wake her up if I leave early "for the morning, and I need to be home during the day of course, who will cook her meals? Now all of these could easily be overcome, but When you have a kid, you also just...want to spend time with them. You want to be there for them, and time away to workout seems kind of silly. Now that I've started doing exercise with Sophia I've found that its a real blast for her, its healthy for both of us, and its another way we can bond. Its amazing.



I've heard a lot of people use toddlers as excuses for things they can't do. "I can't start a business, I have a toddler" "I can't go back to school, I have a toddler" "I cant breathe in, and then breathe out a few seconds after, I have a toddler" I have said all of these myself. (maybe not the breathing one) and I am totally guilty of believing them as well. However The funny thing about having a toddler is that in many ways, having a toddler is the exact reason WHY you should be doing all of those things that you are putting off. Allow me to explain.



Your toddler is a sponge for knowledge, and for personal habits that you are doing. I've only worked out for 3 days in a row with Sophia, and shes already asked me about the "workout" twice today. She wants to do it more because she likes the routine , and she likes being like daddy. Now that she sees me and mommy at home working (Stef often works from home) she'll grab her laptop first thing in the morning and "work" for 3 minutes to a half hour. So if you have something that you want to do, or want to start, make your child a part of it. Let her see you start that business, let her watch you work, and she'll suck up all of that knowledge in a way only a 3 year old can do. If you want to lose 100 pounds, make your child a part of the process. Let her learn about proper diet and exercise with you. because she'll probably be better at it than you are, and she'll keep you motivated. Its already working for me.



Its very counter-intuitive, to have your child be even minimally involved in these "very adult" things, but  I postulate that adding what is questionably the most important person in your life into these very important life changes and moves will motivate you more, grow your relationship with her, help her to learn new, more important life skills, and will help keep you motivated. You can explain to a friends how you last diet "just didn’t work out" or how that business idea "fell through" but explaining that to your toddler demands some specifics "but why daddy?" That will get you to the heart of the matter really quick if you answer those questions seriously. Toddlers can also be your ultimate performance review. Failure isn't easily explained to a 3 year old. But when you do, you'll need to break down those failures into such small little bites, that they'll let you understand them better as well. And letting your child see you fail is important too. Because failure is normal, and necessary to grow. Don't hide it. Its not shameful. People fail. I have failed. I made this blog because I failed. And now people read it. And my daughter watched me write these posts every morning.  If you explain these failures to a 3 year old. you'll know the whys, the hows, the whats, and how to fix them the next time. That's huge. That's a skill that many business consultants can't even get to the heart of after weeks of analysis. Tell your 3 year old about it and see how fast you get to the heart of the matter.



So I challenge you all now: involve your children in your life. Don't hide it from them. The more involved your child is in your life, the closer they'll feel to you, and the more skills they'll learn from you. Nobody is teaching "junior high school lifetime fitness" or "how to start a business 101" I mean they might be, but you know those classes are bullshit and don't teach a thing. So take those life skills upon yourself. Show your child your failures, show her how you recover, show her how to do the same, and keep on loving her. You'll be amazed what the two of you can accomplish.

Exhaustion

Today, I'm running on about 4 hours of sleep. I stayed up late making sure my you tube channel stayed to its "daily video" promise, and while I was up, I did some small edits so some other videos for later in the week I got to it so late because poor Sophia was having a terrible time falling asleep last night, but somehow magically got up at 6am, just like always.



I'm hoping that the exhaustion will wear off as the day goes on, that would be good. It usually does. But sometimes you're so tired you get that feeling that the exhaustion isn't something you can just shake off. Its not something that'll just go away with a cup of coffee and a hot shower. This is that type of exhaustion the "oh no I've made a terrible mistake" exhaustion. I remember it well as I used to struggle horribly with insomnia when I was a young lad.



I think almost all teenagers have insomnia, though. I can remember having a good number of friends on AIM to talk to at 2 or 3 am on a school night, and they would be getting up at the same time as me the next day (usually 6 am to make the school bus). How on god's green earth did we run on 3 hours of sleep a night? I'm sitting here with twice as much and I'm nearly ruined. Its funny how our bodies change in that way.



I had quite a few fun experiences with insomnia. I once slept maybe a total of 8 hours in a two week period. The reasons were a few: I was working hard on a large musical that the Drury Drama Team was putting on (its was pretty legit, we had a $30,000 budget)  I was also taking a full AP course load, working out with the football team in the off season, and oh yeah, my father was slowly dying. Its amazing how hard it is to sleep when your life is thrown off kilter. Most people in my life would look at my "high school life" and think that I must be doing great! in good shape, doing well in school, even acting in plays and so forth. However I think that high school had to be my darkest time, just attempting to deal not only with my father's slow passing, but also being there for my mom. As  you can imagine, losing the love of your life slowly isn't very easy.



So I didn't sleep for more than 8 hours for a week or so. Doing homework, working out, going to rehearsals, and mostly worrying when I should have been sleeping. Somehow thinking that if I stayed up I would think my mom and I out of our shitty situation. I then remember seeing a friend of mine from high school walk into the basement man-cave I had created for myself, and he sat down and started chatting with me. I went over and talked to him for a good 20 minutes about what I can't remember, as some of our other friends came in. I then told them to quiet down, because it was 3 AM and my mom might wake up. And they all vanished. I then decided it was about time for some sleep.



Sleep deprivation is a scary thing. Since that scenario happened I've been quite covetous with my sleep. Just recently have I felt OK digging into the sleep bank to help me finish a project, or to dig into something else. Loss of reality is scary. I couldn't imagine what folks with schizophrenia go through on a daily basis. It must be horrifying to not know what is real or not. 



As my father slowly got worse from his Alzheimer’s, my insomnia got less and less severe. as we put him in a home, I finally started sleeping in my bed again. As he passed, I would come home from school at 3pm, finish my homework, and "just take a nap" and wake up for school the next day. I would spend my weekend in a mixture of naps and 14 hour sleep marathons. I was catching up I think. A lot of people thought I had depression, but I never felt better. I just needed that sleep so dearly, and my body was so ready to give it to me.






I slept like this for a few months before college, and then I went to college with an unhealthy relationship with sleep. As anyone who went to college knows, its hard to sleep when you're in college at first: there’s something going on 24 hours a day. this was a poor choice for me. I was often up super late, then I would miss a morning class, and not get up until noon. It was good I was getting the sleep I needed, but It was bad I was missing classes. It took me a while to come back from that in college as well. Sleep schedules are something that you really can' t mess with. I messed with mine for about a year and it ruined me for 3. I felt as though I was constantly grumpy throughout college, I was always tired, and I would sleep for hours and hours. I would get angry at my friends for no reason, or just not talk to them anymore out of the blue. I hate to think how many friends I lost because of that.



I thought I had a handle on sleep in high school. I'm not tired, so I must be fine, right?" Its sound enough logic. Then in college I thought I would get enough just by sleeping more, more more. I would sometimes sleep 12 hours a day. I would still be angry. I was still angry at my dad. I was still angry at my mom. at that shitty situation that twas nobody's fault and pulled me out of my  sanctuary in Vermont, and forced me to deal with some real serious adult situations. That's growing up, I suppose.



Nowadays, I sleep between 6 and 8 hours a night. as I've written this, I can feel the exhaustion shaking off of me. I'm starting to feel a lot better already. I'll probably still take a nap when Sophia goes to sleep, but its good to be able to shake it like this. I used to pass out in class I was so exhausted, and still ignore it. I absolutely love sleep, but I'm no longer covetous of it. I'm just fine with 6 hours, or I'm just fine with 8. If i don’t get enough, I'll just go to sleep when I get sleepy that night. Or I'll rest. It's not a problem anymore.



Its just shocking to me how it has taken me more than a decade to build a healthy relationship with sleep again. For years I was too tired, oversleeping, or god knows what else, and it took me from age 15 until now for me to finally make friends with sleep. Maybe in some ways that means I'm making friends with my high school days finally. I'm finally making friends with that long gone part of my past that so shaped who I am today. Gave me a lot of the grit I have to push through a lot of situations. Gave me my need for strong women in my life, like my mother, and my wife. I think it is. And with that, I'll be getting ready for an early afternoon nap with Sophia, maybe a little earlier than later.

How To Start An Online Business: Our Weekly Column on How We're Doing It.

I don't know what to write about today. I'm actually setting my timer today and just typing my conscious stream of thoughts. I've made myself some coffee, and I've actually put together a little "candle heater" for myself so that I don't freeze while the heat turns on in my dining room . It looks ridiculous. there's a small glass vase balanced over a candle with a paper plate on top to reflect all the heat down ( I found the paper plate is very effective in heat disbursement through measurement with a laser thermometer) I'm also enjoying some coffee out of my NSA mug.

Not bad heat Disbursement to be honest.... Man is it cold.

A lot of you responded very well to my blog post about spending, and the advent of my wife starting a blog on finance help. My wife's blog is coming along nicely so far, and you'll see a guest post form her on here sooner than later. She's very excited to start growing a readership, and wants to write about a lot of different topics. I think the one shes most excited about writing about is how to help young women succeed specifically. she hasn't said that she wants to focus on women, but I think she should. It's an unserviced demographic in so many ways, and her initial blog post which she wrote really gets to the heart of that matter. It spells out in so many ways how men and women are fundamentally different, and how its so important for them  to often attack problems differently: like asking for the promotion, or getting the job at the interview.  I think that she can really have something going for her.



maybe that will be the new, more exciting path of this blog: I’ll write my thoughts on the two of us making an adventure into the new exciting world of internet earnings. Based on what I've seen from other folks who do things like this, it all just seems to come down to making STUFF, EVERY DAY. That's the first premise I'm working on. Now, keeping the quality fairly high and so forth are all a part of it as well, but as long as your making things, people will read things. that's the first step. So hopefully once my wife's blog takes off we'll be making things on her page every day just like I do here. I also make a new video for my you tube channel every day. it can only get easier.



This exploration into the independent earnings world of the internet I think will be a welcome change for both of us. my wife has always wanted to work for herself, as have I. We also both know that working together in a regular office environment might not work very well for either of us. We've tried before, and we don't mesh well. As such, I think we'll be working very much independently, but asking each other for help and advice along the way. It'll be a great way for us to work together on something we're both excited about.



I'll definitely be keeping up this experiment for free flow writing. You'll definitely be seeing me write about my life, my growth, and my family. But I'll also be writing from time to time about how our online business ventures are doing. How we failed, how we succeeded, and what we're working on now.



So for me: I'm working on a you tube channel called Dota 2: Worse Than You. Its a channel about two guys having fun playing Dota2. If any of you have played Dota2 before you'll know that it is nearly impossible to have fun playing Dota. It's an extremely difficult game with many small skill sets needed to succeed. In fact, its played at the professional level with more viewers of the professional tournaments than the Superbowl during The International. It's shockingly popular, and even showed up on ESPN last year during the largest tournament.



Due to its popularity, there are a TON of you tube channels on tips and tricks to be better at the game. Surprisingly enough, there are almost no channels of guys just having fun playing the game. Let's plays with guys just enjoying games are becoming very popular, so why not make one based around the most popular game on the market right now? The fact that the game is also free to play makes it a great springboard as well. Our plan (Mine and Chris, the star of the show) is to cast at least one game a day (we play at least one game every day anyway) and then to post the games on our you tube channel daily. we will also edit these games down into small weekly shows. so far we have two weekly shows. 1)The Team Mate Of The Week and 2) The Worst Of the week.  Team mate of the weeks will showcase a particularly interesting person who played with us that week, and will come out every Friday. If you would like to watch our first team mate of the week video, click here. we'll also make a "Worst Of The Week" video, which will showcase us sucking at Dota. Trust me, this isn't hard. You can watch our first "Worst Of The Week" Video here.



So this is my plan. To make some funny videos about one of the most popular games on the planet right now. So far each of our videos are getting about 100 view daily, but no ad revenue from it as of yet. Sadly, our first "worst of the week" video is also terrible quality thanks to the fact that my capture software was setup improperly. Fun Fact: If you don't pay for Xsplit, you cannot save recordings in high def with a decent refresh rate. I highly recommend using OBS if you want to professionally re-cut and edit your videos as you can BOTH record to your hard drive and live stream to Twitch at the same time.  This was a hard thing to realize, as I had already spent a good 40 hours this past week learning to use Adobe Premiere Pro, editing down video, and making  our first "worst of the week" video, only to learn that the entire video was in 360p, and looked really, really shitty. People still enjoyed, and we got a few new subscribers out of it, but it still sucks.



That's the learning experience you go through, though. Now that I know, I can easily make videos in full 1080p for the next week, and we're working on building up that repository of footage as well. It's been a BLAST learning about this, and I'm constantly excited to learn more about video editing. I may have found my passion. I'm truly enjoying learning more and more about video editing as I'm doing this, and I'm enjoying being a ham online and people watching it and enjoying it. Who knows, maybe this can grow into something.



My wife has a bit of a harder time writing than I do, at least for now. I'm sure once she gets into a flow of just writing what comes out of her head and editing later, she'll write much more freely. However the other night, we were working on her first blog post (soon to be seen online) and she started talking to Matt about everything in a very articulate, and interesting manner. Podcast. I think that she will be able to express herself much better in the podcast setting, based on listening to her talk just that one time (and knowing her better than anyone else for the past 6 years, but that doesn't hold much weight) So now I need to learn how to make a great podcast platform for my wife. I have the microphone equipment thanks to the Let's play's that Chris and I do, so now we need to setup the website to suit her needs. Time to learn about something that I don’t even listen to that much. I've listened to the bigger pockets (real estate investing) podcast, and Tim Ferris podcast, and that's it....so I have a lot to learn about pod casting. I'll be keeping you guys updated on our endeavors into podcasting here as well.



I think this will be a great platform for my wife as she learns more about this kind of stuff. and if she makes a new podcast every day, how can she fail? You just need to keep doing. There's no secret sauce, because the second you find one, Google will change it. Its about making real things that add value all the time, every day.



That's what I want to do for you all here now, I'll write on our escapades on making these small businesses, and how they're working out.



EARNINGS TO DATE:



Google Ad Revenue: $1.56



Other Revenue: $0



Expenses:



Microphone: $37 (used off eBay) Here's a link to the microphone we use




Adobe Premiere Pro ( Still in trail period) $30/Month once we have to start paying for it.



Number's ain't looking too good so far, lets see how we look next Sunday. 

The Many Joys Of Staying At Home

Its cold today. you know how I know its cold? When I went outside this morning to start my wife's car for her, I coughed really hard because it was too cold outside to BREATHE. That is cold. When I came inside and checked my phone for weather stats, it told me that the temperature was -6. before windchill. That is cold.



This is apparently supposed to be two of the coldest days of the year. What does this mean for me? it means that for the day, Sophia and I will be stuck inside. Its much to cold to really take her anywhere. I don't much want to bundle her up only to bring her inside again somewhere, and shes generally just as happy at home, as long as I keep her busy. It'll be a fun day of doing a whole lot of nothing, as far as I can tell.



First, we'll make breakfast. Actually that's already happened. Her favorite is to help me make her eggs for her. She watched me scramble them in a cup, and pour them in the pan, and she helps with the cheese. Today, she wanted to add some turkey deli meat too so we cut that up and added it in as well, she helped with a few of the final stirs of the eggy mixture, and now shes happily eating while watching the Cat in the Hat, and I type this.



Later on, we'll probably go to her "castle" (bedroom) and battle "the monsters" (imaginary as far as I can tell). Once they're defeated, through utilization of a mixture of light sabers, a “Frozen” microphone, and a magic wand, we'll probably then move onto a dance party filled with today's top hits. What can I say? She's a Bruno Mars fan.



After that, we'll go ahead and make Mac N Cheese For lunch (already requested) I scratch make it, so she'll be helping me make the cheese sauce, much like breakfast.



As we sit down to lunch, I'll start to get her ready for nap time with some good stories, and some milk. All in all it'll be a very fun filled day for her, and we'll never leave the house. Its one of life's simplest pleasures: enjoying the home you've made. and yet I see so many people seemingly trying to leave their main resting places as much as possible.



I am very much a homebody. This probably comes from my Vermont roots. I really enjoy being in the place I've made for myself, and just resting there, or working there, or what have you. Sometimes Its just as enjoyable as going to a special place. sometimes more-so. You gain this kind of simple enjoyment from home when anywhere else is at least a half hour drive away, I think. The closest mall is more than an hour away from where I grew up, so it was a real trip. As such, I found much more enjoyment simply resting at home: making forts, playing video games, or simply enjoying the quiet. I feel as though many of my friends don't find the same  enjoyment. Even my wife enjoys leaving much more than I do. When I'm at home and there's nothing to do, I'm very content.



Is there some sort of need that other folks have to just go out and do something different? I'm not sure... I know that sometimes you get cabin fever, and you absolutely need to leave the house. That happens to all of us. But why so often? What's the matter with the place that you spend most of your money on paying for, paying off, and maintaining? It should be a place you really, really REALLY like. If its not, then you may have made a mistake.



Home for me has always been a sanctuary. Not a place that you let unwelcome folks into. Only a place that your truest friends come visit. Not a place that should be left as only a place to sleep, but a place to be enjoyed for many different activities: from exercise, to reading, to special spa treatments (administered by loved ones), to toddler nail painting, and anything else that can usually be done better in the comfort of home. Why leave when you can do these things better with your loved ones on your own couch?



Sometimes I'll stay at home for an entire weekend and make no qualms about it. Literally never leave the place. I'll greatly enjoy it. I'll clean and tidy the home I so love. I'll make delicious home cooked meals for my family. I'll help Sophia to discover new books, and learn new things. I'll take a nap with her. I'll go and learn new things myself thanks to the internet. I'll learn about a new culture, or learn a new skill. Or just read a really good book. Heinlein is one of my personal favorites for this endeavor. His books never seem to get old.  I'll do some redecorating: mostly by digging through the crap I have in my closets and finding new ways to re purpose them: making new little nooks and crannies in my home that make it feel more like my own place. These are true, and simple joys to having a house you call a home.



Why do people want to leave these places so often? I find more comfort and joy from staying in my home than pretty much anywhere else. I feel as though the "Vacationers" who need to be out doing things constantly are constantly running away from something: always looking for a new place to find happiness, or to find peace. Why then, wouldn't you try and make your home the ultimate place to find that peace? It seems so simple to me.



Perhaps they really need to be away from home for other reasons. Perhaps the sanctity of their home has been ruined by some heinous act, or because hey attach it with something they don’t like. I can't think of anything worse. A home should be a safe zone. A place where you can unwind, relax, and vent if need be. If its not, where do you do that? That has to be a loss that is horrible. I couldn't imagine having my home not being my safe zone. It always has been and I fight to keep it that way.



Maybe they need a new outlook on lie, and they're trying to grow. Perhaps their own imagination is stifled by being in the same place. That I could see. sometimes a change of scenery is necessary. However its so important to be able to compile that new creativity, and what better place to do it than in your own comfort space? Its so important to be able to go out: to learn, to grow, to thrive and learn more about the world. its so important to interact with people from other cultures and from other places and learn new ways of thinking, and of doing. Its very important, too, to be able to come back to a place that you know: that you feel secure in, and then to ruminate on these new experiences, and make them your own, so you can remember them fondly.



I'll be experiencing the joys of the frontier of the home today. Together, Sophia and I will attack the hordes of monsters attacking our castle in her bedroom. We'll learn about animals and cultures from around the world thanks to the joys of the internet. We'll create new and exciting art projects at the dining room table. And we'll rest and reflect on it all during a nice nap in our own beds, in our own home. That to me is the grandest in luxury. 

Spending, and A New Blog?

For those of you who know us, my wife and I are accountants by education and often times by practice ( my wife is an accountant at a fortune 100) and we quite enjoy "hacking" the financial systems through our own little tricks and tips. We love the writings of Ramit Sethi, The Mister Money Mustache, and many others, and follow them religiously. We "vacation hack" and use special credit cards to maximize our flier miles. We do many things that really do help us financially, and its a good habit we've gotten into. Partially we started doing this because of our love for finance, and, if you know how to do it, why not leverage your knowledge to help yourself? the other part I think comes from a rapid desire to offset our ridiculous "complainypants" spending habits (as the MMM would lovingly call it) because its true: we just spend too much.



How so you may ask? Well its not like we drive the fanciest cars, or eat out every night. Neither of us spend lavishly on drink or on other types of escape either. So we aren't falling apart with crushing credit card debt, with 3 par payments, or anything of that nature. But we aren't saving as much as we should be, and we sometimes run a balance on the credit cards that we have to float for a month or so. And  it is ridiculous. There is no reason for two folks such as us to do so. We know its bad, we know that compound interest in the most powerful force in the world, ESPECIALLY AT OUR AGE! we know these things! we literally went to college for them. Why then, do we still fall into the same traps as everyone else?



Is it the advertisements? no, that’s a far too easy scapegoat. I think if advertising was the only culprit, then it wouldn't be mine and Stef's personal finance background making us stronger financially, it would be our own stoic nature, shrugging off the onslaught of incoming media, so that’s out. Is it our desire to keep up with the proverbial "Joneses"? No, since all of our friends come from very different walks of life, and are at very different stages in their lives, I would say no. we're always happy to help them, and sometimes I think we're a little jealous of those more "Established" than we, but I can't realistically remember a purchase that stemmed from that.



That brings it right back down to the finances of it. I think that often times because of our financial background we think that we can just "spend a little more" and make up the difference with our financial know-how. I think for Stef, its often that she wants to make sure that Sophia can have absolutely everything she wants. we used our credit card points to buy her her own tablet. and we're giving her a very nice themed birthday party a-la "frozen." She's 3, and will remember some of it. I'm sure she would be just as happy with a big play date at the house with some cake after and a song, but this is important to my wife, so why not? I love to spend money on video games, and cars. I can't help it at times. Do i really need 340 square feet of dynamat RIGHT NOW, in the middle of winter that I wont install until spring. No. Bad Charlie. But this is how it is.



Some people have done studies and blamed it on some "primal urge" to shelter in place, and purchasing shit makes you feel more accomplished. Why does that make you feel more accomplished than if you actually secured your financial future by saving? That makes literally no sense. I mean, maybe there's a "spend lots of money" gland in us that makes it happen, but I doubt it. I think that a lot of it comes down to our desire to just HAVE things to fill a void. except for the necessities (food, shelter, etc) I can't think of a single purchase I've made that was frivolous when I was happy. When I'm happy, I have no desire whatsoever to spend a red cent. I have everything I could ever want. My wife, my child, our home, nice clothes to wear and so forth. Why oh why would I ever want to spend money on a game that I'll end up never playing again in a month? or a week? or a day? Why would it matter if we throw Sophia a huge birthday bash?



So maybe what happens is the marketing we see makes us feel inferior for not owning that thing. Maybe that makes us feel bad. Maybe we imagine how much better we'll feel once we own said "thing" maybe once we outstretch our means to own it, we find that it was untrue. and then we feel bad, and start the cycle all over again. Maybe that's it.



So lets assume that's true. I think we should all make a pact to each other to STOP IT right now. remember that the marketing of the happy family driving the new Mercedes is MEANT to make you feel bad that you aren't that happy family in a Mercedes right now. Realize that said happy family is probably OK with the $850/month payment for a decade, and let them enjoy it. And you turn around, check your back account for said $850, and breathe a huge sigh of relief. Doesn't that feel better? all of that Mercedes money is right there in your bank account! see? you could be that family too if you hated money. good thing you don’t.



I think this might be my own personal answer to overspending. We've all done it, we all do it. But from now on when I want something, I think I need to figure out why this thing I want is making me feel bad. Because if you were OK with your life, why would you want to buy something? You have everything you need, more than likely in sickening abundance. You know how I know that's true? My house has a closet full of shit, and I just moved in. That doesn't happen by magic. There's a basement Half-full of shit. once again, not an accident. Why do I have all of this garbage? because I overspend when I'm unhappy. Now I know.



My wife and I have been throwing around the idea of starting a blog about these financial things, but much more pointed: how to file your taxes easily, how to balance a checkbook, how to effectively use a credit card. How to pay your bills and budget. etc. We want to point it toward folks like us: Just out of college, lots of earning potential, but maybe not accountants by profession. Folks who are out there earning just like we are, but not with the same tools in the tool box we have. I think that you guys know that there's nothing out there for you yet. There are a few 200 page books, and some blogs that help get you pointed in the right direction, but nothing that will help push you guys into true financial freedom that you all went to college for. That's what we want to design. A simple, daily blog that will flesh out a lot of financial ideas that I think a lot of people struggle with. Taxes. Budgeting. Investments. Home Purchases. The list goes on and on, and I could write all day about it, but with the MENTAL GAME fleshed out a bit now (mostly for me, but I hope you found value in it too) I think that we could move forward with a good (completely different) blog to help with that.



If any of you think that you would like it. tell me. if not, also tell me. I'm not a big fan of wasting time.

Job VS Life

Finding a new job can be hard. Not the actual finding of the job: we're in one of the biggest economic booms this country has ever seen, and accountants seem to be hard to come by. However the finding of a job that fits into a family lifestyle is becoming exceedingly difficult



In the age of the fortune 500 being the ultimate company to work for, with the googles, facebooks, and apples resting soundly at the top of the heap..it seem that the work/life balance has become a work/ less work balance. If you've ever seen the google office you'll understand what I mean. They have nap rooms, game rooms, sleeping quarters, play rooms, a full cafeteria, and much more. This place is designed so that you NEVER LEAVE. and rightly so: Google has to run basically the entire internet (I think 80% of internet traffic is routed through google) so when you work there the stakes are pretty high. Facebook is much the same,with one billion users, there’s plenty to do. Now the sad thing I've noticed is that it doesn't seem to stop at these big bad companies. It seems that everyone-- from the coffee shop around the corner to the largest companies on the planet, want this same level of commitment to the job.



Its kind of absurd. I have a (soon to be) 3 year old daughter. She needs to be dropped off at daycare and picked up. She needs dinner. she needs to be bathed, and put to sleep with a story. And that’s not even getting into the intangibles like "love" and so forth. That's the absolute bare minimum, which is about all the time you seem to get when you're slammed into the ratrace at some of these places. Now I have to be fair here and admit that its not the company's faults, and not all companies are like this either...however more and more seem to be going in this direction. A lot of this seems to come down to the daycares as well. my wife nearly lost her mind the last time we had to choose a new daycare provider. I can't even count how many times she told me that she would get in touch with a provider or a center, and they would "only start at 830" or "oh I'm sorry we just don’t want to work Wednesdays"



Who is their target market? Who can afford to show up for work an hour late, and not at all on Wednesday? does everyone else just have a massive army of grandmas that are available every Wednesday and every morning? and if so, how is that fair to the battalion of old, retired ladies? Its very strange to me that in an industry where your target customer is a working family, that many of these places seem to do everything they can to keep them away. It's just a little ridiculous from a business standpoint.



To get back to the intangible emotion part: Its also very hard on a family when both parents are career driven. My wife has been at her job for nearly two years now, and every day she comes home and its like she was in a shootout with the cops all day. shes exhausted, shes upset, and isn't ready to enjoy a three year olds special kind of love in any way shape or form. You would think that she would have started to "settle in" to her job by now, but just as she does, they seem to saddle her with a fresh project or a new duty, and its all over again. Yes, this is the nature of capitalism, yes, this is how companies grow and thrive. and yes, my wife handles it amazingly well, and I'm exceptionally proud of her. But how do TWO parents do that? you can't. Unless 'm missing something.



 Dishes would pile. tempers would flare. We were constantly exhausted. We never invited friends over because the house was always in shambles, and we never went out because we wanted to see our child instead of hire a babysitter. It was miserable. We were constantly mad at each other, or our jobs, or frustrated with Sophia. And its really not us who suffer in the end when you're living a life like this, its the child. Its not fair to Sophia. At least I don't think so.



So what does one do? I'm hoping to find the right balance between work and life. I want to be there for Sophia like my mother was there for me. (as I've written before, my mother was a stay at home parent, and my father was retired, lots of parental access) I also want to grow a business, or get a job, in something that I can really get behind, and truly enjoy. I want to make sure that Stephanie is getting the relaxation she needs, because she loves her job, but it takes a lot out of her. Too much, I think sometimes.  I'm hoping that we can find that balance, and enjoy life the way that we should be able to.



Moving forwards, I now know that its not fair to my family to take an enormous job on. there's just not enough time in the day. I've always been in charge of the cooking and cleaning as well, so it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for me to take on a job that will take up even more of my time than what my wife is already doing. Its too much, and its not fair to Sophia. Looking forward I'll need to find that correct balance of work and family. and It needs to be balanced more toward family. They need me, and I need them. Things got really bad when I forgot about that the last time. Now that I'm feeling better the brain is firing on all 8 cylinders again, I'm not going to let it all fall apart once more just for a fat paycheck. There are other ways to make money other than being the one who sits in their cubicle the most. I'll be sure to find them.



I think I need to remember that my number one job is father, and job 1A is Husband. I need to be there for them, as they're always here for me. I need to make sure that I can do that whenever. I'll be ready to offer my skills in many other ways as well for my perspective employers as well, though. Time control from them I don't think will be one of them. I need to make that balance work, or else things will be worse than they were last time. I know it. I can fell it in my soul. Maybe I'll be able to make this blog and the youtube channel give me the money I need to love my daughter the way I want. To love my wife the way I want. Maybe I'll find something better. I'm not entirely sure. I know that if I keep writing like this, I'll get better. If I keep making videos, I'll get better. If I keep learning about both, I'll get better. If I keep learning about how to balance my life, and my work, and my enjoyment, I'll get better. It will all come down to just learning more about myself, about my family, and about what I want out of life. I think I've gotten a little closer. 

I Miss The Days Of The "Wild Wild West" Internet

The Internet and marketing has changed incredibly over the past year. Over the past two years...shit, over the past 6 months. I've been working on little blogs and businesses like this for quite some time, all of them ending up in me either selling the page or literally never making a cent... But Its amazing to me how much this landscape has changed in just such a short space of time.

A picture of me from the hayday of the internet *

It used to be that the way to make money in this field (or any content creation field) was to write something that would end in a pitch, basically. So if that were the case here I would write a big long post filled with reasons why I'm so credible, filled with testimonials and ideas that would make you a better whatever I'm trying to sell, and then at the end there would be a huge affiliate link that would say "BUY NOW!" all over it, and then you would hopefully click on that link and buy something. Or maybe it would be a link to a product I made, like a course or a product. Either way, the name of the game was the pitch. Nobody wants to read pitches all day. Its exhausting, it digs on your attention span and patience, and it doesn't make for very good reading, either.



Nowadays, thanks to all of this indexing, and "likes" and other such nonsense, many companies (like Google) can just figure out what you want to buy without my help. If you look at my blog right now, there's probably a link to something you've been thinking of buying for a while on there somewhere. I have no idea what the hell you want to buy. I've probably never met you. If I have met you, then why the hell are you reading my blog? pick up the phone and call me, I'd love to chat.



That aside, its probably at once the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to the internet. I am a libertarian, for lack of a better word, although I do believe that the government serves a very noble purpose in helping those in need (another time, another post) So, for me, the internet was this great sea of information that you could search in anonymity, unless you wanted people to know who you were. It was the ultimate in constitutional rights: to do as you please, to interact and enjoy others as you see fit, without being censored, pushed in a certain direction, or forced to do anything by any governing body. It was truly, in many ways, what our founding father's would have loved to have to transmit ideas and ideals to help them both become better learned themselves, and also for them to help enlighten more of the globe in the ways of Liberty.



With the advent of the NSA, I think a lot of that is getting lost. Google knows what you want to buy, because you searched it there. the NSA is indexing things you search, and people you contact right now. The Patriot Act has made it illegal for you to deposit funds directly into another person's account in certain circumstances. The List Goes on and on. And that's not the only thing that's being lost, either.



When I think back to...oh say 2008, 2009. The internet was nearly perfect. YouTube loaded quickly and easily, and if you paused the video and came back later because it was having a rough time, it would be fully loaded and ready to go when you came back. Google searches were predictable, simple, and got you great information rapidly. Email was easily sorted between spam and not-spam. Facebook was a wonderful scrolling marquee of things going on in your friends lives...I think it was even still in chronological order at that point. The parts of the internet we all still use today worked splendidly. They got us where we needed to go rapidly, and it was a simple, easy to use system for videos, chat, information, and communication.



Here we are today. YouTube doesn't load sometimes, even if you want it to. Bandwidth caps abound, unless you pay the premium price for internet (which I have been forced to pay, since we do all of our TV watching through the internet) There is a constant fear of being watched, indexed, searched and so forth. I don’t want to shop for condoms online, and then have a condom ad pop up when I'm doing an online learning with my child. But it happens now! These are things that aren't what the people want. They're algorithms made to help Google, Facebook, and whomever else is watching make more revenue, or gather more information, while pissing off the least amount of people. As far as I can tell, though, the internet has gotten slowly WORSE. Less user friendly, less accessible, and less usable...at least for a guy like me.
Now don't get me wrong, there's a multitude of benefits to this, especially for a blogger like myself. Like I said before, there's an ad on the screen as you watch this right now that’s trying to sell you something you probably want to buy. Click on it if you want, and I make a little money. That is a WAY better system as opposed to the 40 minute long reading list of pitches to get to the product system. Nobody wants to go through that, writer or reader. The Youtube videos and casts I make are much the same. we don't need to focus on product placement, or anything else. we need to focus on making content people will enjoy, and that's it. I need to focus on writing, and sticking to my experiment here. That's it. It's much more useful for all parties.



But why can't we just shut it off sometimes? Why can't we be like "hey Google, not right now OK?" Where's that button?  where's the "hey, let me use that 2009 internet for a minute" button? because there are times when I'm so grateful that things are now searched so much more quickly, and that I'm able to find what I want so fast. But there are other times when I really wish that Google just didn't know what I was up to. Not for any nefarious reason, or even because I'm "paranoid" (hint: I am) but more because sometimes its nice to explore the internet with that "open frontier" feeling again,where you're not constantly trying to be funneled back into the "search and purchase" system. Sometimes its nice to just read some information about something, ignore the shitty banner ads, and go on with your life. No more click bait-filled Facebook pages, no more ad funneling. Just data, ideas, and a clean, fast running internet with the pages you love. That has been lost in some ways.



I think that the benefits of indexing people are many. As I've stated, it lets me create this blog in the way I do. It lets me create my Youtube channel in the way I do. However, it's also causing the internet to move out of its "wild wild west" phase, and into the modern age of consumerism at every turn. It used to be that when I wanted to download some great free programs, I would simply Google "free x software" I would find a great developer who had made it, he would have a nice, clean web page, and I would download it. Now If I do the same thing, I find the program on a horrible, ad filled page, click the wrong link three times, and then spend the rest of the day uninstalling ad-ware. When I finally give up, I go to a torrent site, and download the SAME FREE, TOTALLY LEGAL program with  much less hassle. In fact, the page will have a bunch of useful reviews for the torrent, to make sure its clean, safe, and what you're looking for. Why are our governments trying to shut down the last place to get clean, free software? Why punish the many for the infractions of the few?



It's a shame, it really is. I think the internet will get its shit together soon, though, and we'll all reach a happy medium of nice load times, and cleaned up Facebook pages of the 2009 era, mixed with the great user friendly search indexing of the future. At least I hope so. Adware should get outta town though. Google: get to work.

* That's a picture of John Wayne. Of course its not me. Nobody is as cool as John Wayne.

Work Spaces

Writing again on another Monday here. Its about -10 outside this morning, so I've gone from my regular writing space in the dining room and I've migrated upstairs into my work/play room. This is generally not where I type this because the keyboard doesn't lend itself to rapid fire typing, but I'll go for it anyway.



Its interesting to me how the space I work in is often the most important part of any aspect of the situation. The task, my own personal feelings, my readiness for it, all don’t seem to play into it quite as much as the place itself. I don’t just mean the real estate by that, though. Its also has to do with many other factors as well.



When I was at my last job, the space was very cool. exposed rafters at the top floor of a neat old office building. It was very quiet, and it was very relaxing when you finally got working. Obviously this wasn't enough to stop a lot of other issues, but it was nice nonetheless. Interesting to me that for my boss, the office was one of the setbacks to the job because of the look of it: it was very much an attic, but I loved the feel of it. Very much away from people, able to work in silence, and enjoy your day as you work. To her it was terrible because it wasn't an office with hardwood floors and a personal bathroom. I really quite enjoyed it.



I should take a picture of each of my work spaces as an exercise for this post, and I think I will. The space I'm working in right now I use much more for fun creative work with videos, VODS, and Casting. )If you guys want to see my cast work you can check out me and Chris being silly here https://www.youtube.com/user/LimeOfDoom)

"The Nerd Coccoon" Where I do video editing, learning, and gaming. It is often used as a racing simulator.

I have a small porta-garage where I work on my Porsche, often at night, and often in the winter. It's very much a difficult place to work, but it brings out the manhood in me. It's a very raw, simple place to work on something. but Its a great place to really think about the car itself, and not be distracted by other bullshit that a lot of guys have around their garages. Don't get me wrong, a real garage would be a huge boon just because tools are more easily accessible, and not freezing usually makes work go faster, but I think some people make their garages a little TOO comfortable, and don’t ever work on their cars in there. That can be a post for another day when I'm in the mood to talk about cars.



The space I usually write this blog I made out of necessity. Its simply a laptop, a timer, and a cup of coffee all set up on the kitchen table. I  put it there because if Sophia wakes up, I can watch her while I'm writing, which Is pivotal. It really had no other designs except for that. I figured I would migrate up here eventually, anyway. In reality I've found, even after just a week, that its the space I prefer to write this blog in. It reminds me of the past things I've written that have come out well, and motivates me to start again. My god it was cold down there this morning. Its hard when your heater's timer doesn't kick in until an hour after you wake up and are ready to work.

My usual blog workspace: complete with a special treat of Starbucks coffee

I'm wondering how much I could increase my productivity if I changed my space? Each space. Would I be more creative if they were messier? If they were cleaner? what If I removed the computer form the situation for writing, and wrote longhand first and then transcribed? would it create better work? What If I got dressed in a suit and tie before writing this, instead of pajamas? all very interesting things to try. But who knows, maybe they're all bullshit. I know that studies have been done and research had been paid for to prove that X improves productivity and that will make you think faster, but I have a sinking suspicion that it comes down to just shaking things up from time to time.



It's similar to exercise. If you do the same workout routine eery day for a year, you'll feel like the strongest guy alive. You'll get through that workout every day barely breaking a sweat. Then one day your buddy comes and says "hey, lets do my workout today!" you oblige him, because you're essentially the world's fittest man, what could he bring to the table? And you're wrecked. Its too much. because your body is only accustomed to that one workout. you brain gets accustomed to that one space, or that one routine. If you change it up, and then do that same work, things change. Things get better. Maybe they get worse. You'll learn from that terrible work how to make better things. How to create better things. How to think of better things. Who knows, maybe even a better way to make a better workspace.



Its funny to me how every person in the office setting works in the same way. They all seem to hit the same work flow, get coffee at the same time, get stressed at the same times of year, and slack off in unison as well. In food, no two people work the same. People's work flows are completely opposite usually, and they almost always have to be. There's not enough space for everyone to grab the plates at the same time, or to cook that dish, or even to wash the pots at the same time the chef is prepping for a big service. This FORCES TEAMWORK. Its amazing to watch, and anyone who has worked in food can attest to it. You can go into work, hate everyone you work with, and the second it gets busy you all lock into your modes, and work together almost immediately. You start doing what needs to be done and working around others. There's no "well, bob doesn't have that report done yet, guess I'll just browse facebook while I wait.” You work around it, you keep moving and get other things done while you wait. The person whose late knows it, and they pick up the pace and make it right. Its a great dynamic to work on as it teaches you about work flow systems just by being a great one.



It would be interesting to try and create a similar type of work flow for an office environment. or a creative environment. Force that same teamwork and pressure, and see what comes of it. That spontaneity of the food service work flow really does spawn creativity in many ways. New ways to carry plates, new processes to handle more tables at once, new ways to help the guest feel more at home at the restaurant, more welcome. It's all a great dance between front of house and back of house, between teams, within teams, and within yourself as well. Its great, its fast paced, and its over before you know it. Then as you're cleaning up you realize that the same guys you hates just 5 hours before were right next to you the whole time, getting the job done with you as a team. Its something that I've never witnessed in any other field. and I think that many other fields could learn from it.



So how can I FORCE myself into team work like that? is it the time restraints that make it so natural? or is it the desire to serve others well? Is it a "hospitality gene" that only those insane folk in food service have? I'll think more on it.

We Got in a Fight Last Night.

Good Morning Internet. Got in a bad fight with my wife yesterday. she took apart my computer and told me to move out. It was really scary. I was worried. I think this stuff sometimes happens when there's big change in your life, but I feel as though it was mostly my fault.



Allow me to explain. I'm lazy. I don't particularly like cleaning the house. I do particularly like doing all other domestic duties, cleaning the kitchen, cooking, maintaining the house, doing yard work, shoveling, and the like I all quite like. But lord please don't make me pick up my wife and child's mess (k mine too) Its not on my top ten list of shit to do every day.



However, I'm the guy at home right now, I'm the stay at home dad, and that's my duty. However yesterday I spent my time doing a lot of shit that didn't get a whole lot of results. I worked on this blog, I made myself some new casts with Chris, and I hemmed and hawed about how exactly to start cleaning. I thought about it, I really did, and I thought that I would get started on it at any moment. but then Matt stopped by and needed some advice, so I spent most of the afternoon coaching him through a few job offers he had received instead of cleaning.



So I did the dishes and cooked dinner.



That was not enough and I know it wasn't that was a dickhead move of me, and I'm sorry. Doesn't much matter now as the only thing that can fix it is action. I had to put my computer back together and reset all of my drivers (too many USB peripherals, I run a 12 port hub ) and now I need to clean this house.



The sad thing is that I KNOW it wont take me for than an hour or so, and the house will be spotless. I know it won't take me more than a few minutes to clean each room. I'm exceptionally efficient with cleaning you see. I run around with a trash bag first, and get all trash out of the house. then I organize a single room, working my way from the front of the house to the back. If an item doesn't belong in one room, it simply gets put in the next room so I'm not distracted from the room in question. Then, once that room has all of its shit in the right place, I'll move onto the next room and repeat until we have a small pile of shit that needs to be a) thrown away or b) put in the attic. it works like magic.



The next step is of course the actual cleaning. for this I use wal mart brand Windex with a few cupfuls of pure ammonia added. Ammonia kills all odors, and cuts through stains like nobody's business. Its the best. why anyone uses anything else (besides he crippling smell and the extreme skin damage) is beyond me. I keep a rag in one hand and a spray bottle in the other, and I work the entire room, once again from front to back. repeat for whole house.



After this, its time to sweep and mop. usually at this point I've kicked on the Roomba (usually right after the organization phase) and now I'm ready to start mopping the floors. My personal favorite for this is a Mr clean spray mop because you don't need to spend a small fortune on proprietary cloths for the bottom: it comes with a nice big cotton cloth that fits the bottom nicely, and is machine washable. it is perfection among mops. However in my zeal from cleaning the house last week this mop is out of commission( I swore that spot on the floor would scrub right off!) and now I'll need to go with the more primitive means of...oh wait I can go grab my other robotic MOP and charge that.



Boy, what a wuss I am. I can almost see the part of me inside my head, rolling around throwing a fit like a 6 year old boy going "I don't wanna!" and then rapidly hiding in a dark corner after in a silly prepubescent rage.  How silly of me.



So why didn't I clean? In honesty I feel like the day just got away from me. I worked on the blog, I worked on the you tube page, I applied for some jobs, and I helped Matt traverse the perils of horrible job offers. each of these to me held far more importance than a perfectly clean house. Its not like the house was unlivable. I had cleaned her top to bottom only a few days before. but on the other hand, in remembrance of my health post just a few days ago, I had already stated that family health is a big part of personal health, and my wife needed that house clean because she's been stressed, and that's what she wanted.



So I think that in reality I was just being lazy, and that ain't right. You can't be lazy as an adult. at least not like that. Your laziness needs to be pointed and effective. Therefore I'm starting a new goal today: all tasks complete before laziness is allowed. every day. So I've already (through the powers of this blogs) spelt out EXACTLY how to clean my house. I know exactly what to do and I'll do it. after that, I'm cooking a big turkey dinner with Sophia (she loves to cook with me) and we'll then move onto nap time (no whammies) and I'll get the work on the you tube channel out of the way for the day. That has to be the plan.



I know that reading my to do list probably isn't the most interesting reading, but its important to me. It's important that I spell things out in black and white because otherwise how can I be accountable. I say a million things to myself in my head every day "I'm totally going to write an extra blog post or two today, just to get a few in the tank" or "I'll totally clean up the Porsche to I can move onto the next stage in restoration" yeah, that shit never happens. I need to write it down. You need to make yourself accountable. and crossing shit off that list you make. oh man, its like crack. nothing feels better than completing something, at least to me. I think that's why this is one of my favorite ways to start my day now. No matter what else happens in this day, I'll be able to say to myself that I did this. I didn't break the chain. and that's huge. I'm still here writing and that's what I promised myself, the writing here, and your reading it proves it to me.



So did my wife and I break up forever and blow our house up in a fiery rage? nah. I told her what happened that day, she told me I'm a lazy bum, and I agreed. She rationalized that she, too, is lazy and hates to clean the house, but since I'm stay at home dad I need to. she's right. and awesome. and sexy. Oh well, one Stef zero charlie. I don't think I'll ever catch up on that score.



So I'll clean the house today. I made myself a list and a plan, I know exactly how to do it, and the house will be spotless, and dinner will be cooked, and my wife will be happy. total time investment: I mean, maybe 4 hours? a half day's work? and that'll make Stef happier than she's been in a while. I think that's the most important time investment I can make. I'm kind of upset at this point I still have another few minutes of writing left because I want to get started.  I know that I fucked up yesterday, and I know what my days need to look like, at least for the time begins, now.  So I'll let Sophia play by herself (something only children excel at) and I'll go make this house the way Stef wants, and make a happy wife and child, then I'll enjoy my beautiful family and we'll all ride off into the sunset. until she pulls my computer apart again.