In the age of the fortune 500 being the ultimate company to work for, with the googles, facebooks, and apples resting soundly at the top of the heap..it seem that the work/life balance has become a work/ less work balance. If you've ever seen the google office you'll understand what I mean. They have nap rooms, game rooms, sleeping quarters, play rooms, a full cafeteria, and much more. This place is designed so that you NEVER LEAVE. and rightly so: Google has to run basically the entire internet (I think 80% of internet traffic is routed through google) so when you work there the stakes are pretty high. Facebook is much the same,with one billion users, there’s plenty to do. Now the sad thing I've noticed is that it doesn't seem to stop at these big bad companies. It seems that everyone-- from the coffee shop around the corner to the largest companies on the planet, want this same level of commitment to the job.
Its kind of absurd. I have a (soon to be) 3 year old daughter. She needs to be dropped off at daycare and picked up. She needs dinner. she needs to be bathed, and put to sleep with a story. And that’s not even getting into the intangibles like "love" and so forth. That's the absolute bare minimum, which is about all the time you seem to get when you're slammed into the ratrace at some of these places. Now I have to be fair here and admit that its not the company's faults, and not all companies are like this either...however more and more seem to be going in this direction. A lot of this seems to come down to the daycares as well. my wife nearly lost her mind the last time we had to choose a new daycare provider. I can't even count how many times she told me that she would get in touch with a provider or a center, and they would "only start at 830" or "oh I'm sorry we just don’t want to work Wednesdays"
Who is their target market? Who can afford to show up for work an hour late, and not at all on Wednesday? does everyone else just have a massive army of grandmas that are available every Wednesday and every morning? and if so, how is that fair to the battalion of old, retired ladies? Its very strange to me that in an industry where your target customer is a working family, that many of these places seem to do everything they can to keep them away. It's just a little ridiculous from a business standpoint.
To get back to the intangible emotion part: Its also very hard on a family when both parents are career driven. My wife has been at her job for nearly two years now, and every day she comes home and its like she was in a shootout with the cops all day. shes exhausted, shes upset, and isn't ready to enjoy a three year olds special kind of love in any way shape or form. You would think that she would have started to "settle in" to her job by now, but just as she does, they seem to saddle her with a fresh project or a new duty, and its all over again. Yes, this is the nature of capitalism, yes, this is how companies grow and thrive. and yes, my wife handles it amazingly well, and I'm exceptionally proud of her. But how do TWO parents do that? you can't. Unless 'm missing something.
Dishes would pile. tempers would flare. We were constantly exhausted. We never invited friends over because the house was always in shambles, and we never went out because we wanted to see our child instead of hire a babysitter. It was miserable. We were constantly mad at each other, or our jobs, or frustrated with Sophia. And its really not us who suffer in the end when you're living a life like this, its the child. Its not fair to Sophia. At least I don't think so.
So what does one do? I'm hoping to find the right balance between work and life. I want to be there for Sophia like my mother was there for me. (as I've written before, my mother was a stay at home parent, and my father was retired, lots of parental access) I also want to grow a business, or get a job, in something that I can really get behind, and truly enjoy. I want to make sure that Stephanie is getting the relaxation she needs, because she loves her job, but it takes a lot out of her. Too much, I think sometimes. I'm hoping that we can find that balance, and enjoy life the way that we should be able to.
Moving forwards, I now know that its not fair to my family to take an enormous job on. there's just not enough time in the day. I've always been in charge of the cooking and cleaning as well, so it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for me to take on a job that will take up even more of my time than what my wife is already doing. Its too much, and its not fair to Sophia. Looking forward I'll need to find that correct balance of work and family. and It needs to be balanced more toward family. They need me, and I need them. Things got really bad when I forgot about that the last time. Now that I'm feeling better the brain is firing on all 8 cylinders again, I'm not going to let it all fall apart once more just for a fat paycheck. There are other ways to make money other than being the one who sits in their cubicle the most. I'll be sure to find them.
I think I need to remember that my number one job is father, and job 1A is Husband. I need to be there for them, as they're always here for me. I need to make sure that I can do that whenever. I'll be ready to offer my skills in many other ways as well for my perspective employers as well, though. Time control from them I don't think will be one of them. I need to make that balance work, or else things will be worse than they were last time. I know it. I can fell it in my soul. Maybe I'll be able to make this blog and the youtube channel give me the money I need to love my daughter the way I want. To love my wife the way I want. Maybe I'll find something better. I'm not entirely sure. I know that if I keep writing like this, I'll get better. If I keep making videos, I'll get better. If I keep learning about both, I'll get better. If I keep learning about how to balance my life, and my work, and my enjoyment, I'll get better. It will all come down to just learning more about myself, about my family, and about what I want out of life. I think I've gotten a little closer.
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