A Short Story.

John had always enjoyed running in the woods. He enjoyed the birds chasing him, he enjoyed the wind on his face, and the leaves he kicked up from his raw hyde boots. He enjoyed the bears that would run away out of sheer confusion to see a human running in the woods in such a way. Just free. No weapons, no armor. Just running alone in the woods the way his great grandfather had in the days before the mountain went to war with the people for Yorn.

John kept running. He was looking for his favorite spot. The mountain was a strange, magical place though, and it would constantly change. Not the location of the thing, but the feelings of the places that you ran to to get there. You would constantly doubt yourself, and you could feel the ravens staring down at you from the branches, almost shaking their heads at your attemps to find something on the mountain, especially as a human. John knew how to traverse it though. He had been there a thousand times before, and he had never let the unsureness get to him. He was concerned this time, though. The mountain seemed different. IT wasn't just this one spell this time. It wasn't just the spell held by the animals of the mountain, glued to every tree branch like a gian spider web. It was more. The pull of the spell was greater this time. John Could feel it. As though whoever the unknown caster was he was redoubling his efforts. Was he doing it just for John? or was this place somewhere he had never been to before, and the spell was stronger here? was he truly lost? John had no idea.

The spell John knew so well was only wispered about in Yore. Nobdoy in town knew where it had come from, or when the mountain had become to cursed by what seemed to be the animals themselves. John can remember his father telling him about the dangers of the woods, and the stories of a great spider that controlled the spell. His father had reassured him they were only stories though, and that there was no great entity controlling the mountain. It was simply that people had forgotten how to talk to the forest, and how to befriend it. As such the mountain had cast a great spell on itself to protect it from the men who would always tear away at its trees, hunt its animals, and fish its streams to ruin. They would burn the forest floors into fertilizer for their crops, and move forward, ever closer o the peak of the mountain with reckless abandon. Then one day people started to get lost.

First it was the hunters. The strongest dissappeared first. They would leave on a many days hunting trip, expected to return with enough meat to feed their families for the long, cold winter that the shores of the Muriel Sea were so famous for. They would be gone for days. Then weeks. And only a handful would return, shaken, and without any kills to show for it. Many of the strongest, and bravest men never returned. When the men were asked what happened, their eyes would go blank as if they had seen a ghost, and no memory of what happened on the mountain could be sopken, as if they were sworn to secrecy by a force grater than themselves. Even grater than the mountain.

Years passed, and a town which has become a famous fur trading town slowly fell into ruin as its town people learned the ways of fishing the frigid, barren waters. The Muriel Sea was a salty, black sea, which was known to have little sea life, if any at all. For a full century the People of Yore scratched their life out of that Sea, creating a hardened group of folk that were just as able to survive the harsh climate in the shadow of the mountain as they were afraid of the scret magic the mountain seemed to hold.


Tourists or travelers would come from time to time, and they would stare in disbelief at the beautiful mountain behind the town. Overlush, with no trails leading to its base. Seemingly overteeming with flora and fauna, ready to be harvested, hunted, and enjoyed. These travelers would often not heed the townsfolks warnings "There is no trail for good reason" was the statement that many would say from Yore. They would be ignored. The stronger the traveler, the less forgiving the mountain would be. John has been the only one to understand the mountain. Understand its magic.

Magic is a strange thing. It isn't as you read about in the story books: a thing that bursts with great energy from a wand, or a staff. Magic here is much slower, more deliberate, and more subtle. You can't quite find it, or see it, or smell it. But you can feel it. You can feel it seep into your bones. The People of Yore knew of the magic on the mountain. As their population grew less from famine or cold or pilgrimage to more fertile lands farther north, the people of Yore could feel the magic. They could feel the invisible spiderwebs clutching at the edges of their slanted thatched roofs at the edge of the mountain, slowly moving through their streets, making their night lamps less bright as they once were. John Seemed to dispel this just with his presence. Nobody understood it.

John was born very slight, and grew into boyhood with constant illness. He always had a love of the forest, though. He would often play too close to the mountain, and many thought he was cursed. He would venture ever farther into the forest each day in the summers, springs, and autumns as he grew into manhood. Then has his 13th year passed, and his grandfather's bow as passed down to him, he began to venture deeper into the woods. Sometimes for a day, other times for weeks. Unlike the men before him for the past age, John would return with more energy and vitality.

Today was different. The Mountain was testing him. It wanted to know his true mettle. John could feel the trees lean in around him as the invisible cobwebs seemed to tug a little bit at each branch, or was is just the breeze? He walked forward, feeling more tired than he had  in many years. He continued to follow his path that he knew, ignoring the unsureness in his mind. Ignoring his desire to turn back He knew if he gave into it he would be lost. The mountain would send him home like so many before.

Then he was upon it. The hut beneath a great waterfall, which seemed taller than the tallest tree in the forest. Even though the waterfall was so great, at least 500 feet tall and 100 feet wide, it emptied into a small, serene lake. at the far side of the lake,  next to the path that John had made was a small hut. It was hewn from softwood in some great haste, to create shelter from the great storm some years before. It had a moss roof, and a steel pipe where the woodstove let its smoke into the air. The strangest thing about this place, was that even for the great size of the waterfall, it was not noticeable from the town, nor from the opposite mountain ranges. The waterfall was also oddly quiet, as if it was miles and miles away.

John Heaved a sigh of relief. He had made it.  He pulled his pack up closer to his back, checked to make sure his bow and quiver were still about his person, and trucked toward the small shed. he knocked on the door three times. As he knocked, he could see the shed quiver and shake,  and it seemed as though at any moment the small shack would shatter and fall to ruin right before him. The sounds of the shaking didnt reverberate, though. It was as if they were only noises and sights inside Of John's head. Creating no sound except for him, for the knocker. The door creaked open just a crack.

"Ah, John" Said a small feeble voice "I'm glad you've made it"

John Stepped inside the small shack. it smelled of rotten meat and a poorly drafted wood fire. The Old Man sitting on the other side of the shack offered him a seat, the same seat John Had taken many times before.

"Tell your grandfather how my spell is holding"

John swallowed, but refused to break his gaze with his grandfather. He was untimely old as this point, and the spell he had cast had obviously given him unnatural long life. With each passing year he seemed less and less man like and more like some twisted figure that wa simply alive due to the hatred he felt for the People Of Yore.

"Grandda, its time to let it go"

"You know I can't do that" said The Old Man, and as he finished the sentence, it seemed as though the mountain would finally engulf John. He felt the spiderwebs in his mind enclose around him, and the complete fear of the mountain start to take hold of his mind. Just as quickly, his grandfather removed the spell, and let him rest.

"does my spell still hold, John?"

"Yes, Grandfather"

Continuing the Experiment

Welp, time to start writing stuff. I don't really have an idea, or a direction today, so its time to utilize this blog as I intended: as an experiment, and at raining ground for me, and for my writing. I'll continue to write until the timer beeps, which will be in 19 minutes now. It'sinteresting whe nyou just let your brain flow like this, and write whatever you feel, sometimes you come into some ideas that you never though you could even come up with. Sometimes, you write total bullshit for 20 minutes and feel worse than when you started. Sometimes, you think its total bullshit, and people love it, and then you're more confused and upset about it than if it wasn't popular at all. It all really makes no sense. I don't know what particularly to write about though.

I've had a good month away from the working world so far. I've grown a better relationsip with my daughter. This writing experiment has shown me that I could probably write a book if I wanted. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll write one on Libertraianism. Maybe I'll write one on the NSA and its shitty ways. Maybe I'll write a fantasy novel. I don't know. Maybe I'll write a book about my boring, shitty life , and just fill the pages with exerpts from this blog. I don't know. There are so many things I can do right now its really amazing.

That's what a lot of people don't realize when they're unemployed. It offers them incredible opportunities. It gives you the ability to expore new venues, look into new fields, and even start a new business. It gives you the time to refocus on what is most important to you in life. Your family. Your Friends. Your own health. Your education.  It helps you refocus and find a connection with te person you ideally want to be. I can tell you now, I had lost track of that. I had no idea what my direction was except in a blind dash for more money, and more income.  I know one thing that's for sure: I was miserable, and I was making my wife miserable as well. Sophia wasn't benefitting from it either. If I pare down my life to the things that really matter: My health, and my family, I was the poorest man alive at that time. I was squandering two of the biggest assets in my life.

Now I know this. I'm looking for a better life. I'm looking for a job that makes more sense with my family, and my wife's work. I'm helping her deal with the stresses at her job. I'm learning more about my daughter every day I spend playing with her, and I'm learning to love her little quirks, her insecurities, and her quest for knowledge nad independence. I'ts truly wonderful.

I'm realizing that i value my time more dearly than just about any sum of money. I truly, really value being able to rest,to travel, to exercise, to think, to educate myself, and to do it all with some peace and quiet, and with the knowledge that I can do it on my time. It's funny when you think about it: We spend most of our lives giving up mass amounts of time doing things we don't generally enjoy, only so we can save up enough and do stuff we enjoy while we're sick and old. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I think as we get closer to a remote work envirronment, and we start to work for ourselves in new exciting ways, this will go away. People will be able to do EXACTLY what they want, and make money at it. I think we're getting closer to that every day. I'm doing...for the most part EXACTLY what I want to be right now: Writing to you, and making exciting small businesses for my wife and I to run. If I can make enough money to live on these endeavors..I've won. I've made myself a system that allows me to live and thrive as I see fit. and I've done it with th ehelp and support of my family. I cannot think of truer wealth than that.

that's ten minutes of writing. I should also say here that for the past week I've been a little down. I've realized that I was hoping to see some more fruition from the youtube channel by now, but that's mostly my fault. I haven't spent as much time as I should have on the video editing, and I've been bad on content creation. I've dedicated myself once again to picking up the pace on that, and I'll continue to make more, new content. Its important, because we're starting to get more fans: and as we get fans they'll hopefully ask their friends to watch and so on. More content will help that. You all know that. I know that. I've been a lazy bum and that won't help me get to where I need to be.

I just deleted a paragraph because it was total bullshit. 5 minutes left. Spring is starting to show its beautiful, fower filled head. in celebration, I've dove headfirst into the Porsche restoration again. I've gotten the filler all over the cracks in the dashboard, and I've started to pull up the rest of the ruined carpet in the interior as well. I just need some help from a welder friend to seal up some holes in the interior, then its reassembly time! Well, not quite: first I'll need to clean an restore both door cards, sand, prime, and paint the dash (or vinyl wrap, we need to see how this new duplicolor textured paint turns out first)  I'll need to measure and tap the new floor hole once I get fresh metal welded in. (oh yea, the previous owner drilled holes THROUGH the floor, apparently this must have been during the great hole tap shortage of 2005)  So there is much to be done. I'm truly excited though. I love building things. I love making things my own. Cars I find are this wonderful cohesion of so many skills, and so many different parts of knowledge and labor, that as you finish you realize that what you have made is a synergy of all of those parts, and all of that work, and you feel as though you've created something bigger than the sum of its parts. It's one of my favorite and most smiple pleasures. I'm glad I've found this joy in life. I love projects. I love taking things and making them my own. I think I will always do that.

So in conclusion: This post is jsut shit I thought about. I like cars, I like spring. I love my family, and I've been a lazy bum about the youtube channel. Sorry Chris.

And to anyone who read this: Congratulations you get a prize. Just leave a comment to collect.

Understanding Celiac Disease: A Husband's Perspective

Man, do I feel like shit today. I have been just loafing around, doing small stupid tasks instead of getting stuff done that I should be. I spent the night in my daughter's bed because she was having hard time sleeping, and i had no pillow and no blanket, plus she was pushing me off the bed most of the night. It was most uncomfortable to say the very least. So this morning when I woke up my whole body hurt. It hurt in that way that you feel like you need a do over on your entire 8 hours of sleep. I hurt right down to the middle of my bones. It was not even a little bit pleasant.



Sophia seemed fine. She woke up, she played, she kissed her mother goodbye as she went off to work. But I know she didn’t sleep very well either as she asked for a nap at around 11:30. which is shocking because she hates sleep in any form. But I suppose when you're tired enough you'll ask for sleep. that's the way of the world.



It is very hard to do what you need to do when you're tired, and in pain. that's for sure.  you feel as though you'll just fall apart if you start something. You feel like if you get up to move, your legs will snap off, or your head will explode from the splitting headache you have. My body was so stiff this morning, I couldn't look down at my feet. It was quite painful.



so what the hell am I talking about? I'm not sure. I just know that being in pain like this is very difficult. I'm glad that I don't have to live with it every day. I'm glad that I'm a healthy guy, and if i sleep in some type of a reasonably comfortable environment I'll feel just fine. If there is one thing I have always been truly blessed with its my health. I've been extremely healthy my entire life and I'm very glad for it.



As many of you know, my wife has Celiac disease, and its been really hard for her to deal with. Not so much the food part: I love to cook, and I keep her belly full of delicious home cooked meals 7 days a week. The bigger issue for her is that it seems that gluten isn't her only issue, or she's so sensitive to it that even skin contact with it can make her sick for 3 days or more. It's really depressing for her, because we can't really go out to eat, we have to very carefully choose where we go based on our gluten issues, and if she gets sick, she's bedridden for a few days, feeling like she has the worst stomach bug you've ever heard of.  It's really rough not only on the body, but on you mentally as well. I know that she feels down sometimes, and some days she just wants to stay in bed and not go to work, but she goes, and she's incredibly strong.



The mental anguish is real, though. How do you get through life when you can't go places your friends want you to go? Our Date nights are usually spent at home, or cooking at a friend's house. We are forever reading the backs of cereal boxes, shampoos, lipsticks, makeups, to make sure that its something that Stef can use or eat. It's a difficult thing to deal with.



I try my best. I scratch cook everything. Sauces, soups, all special spice mixtures, all from scratch. Ketchup. We just recently found that most store brand ketchup is easier on her stomach than Heinz, so we've switched to that. I even have had to scratch make mustard. It wears on me as well. I get tired of constantly cooking from scratch. I get tired of the 30 minute conversation with the Chinese takeout guy of "no really, she'll get incredibly sick, please no gluten." I get tired of constantly reading ingredients on everything, and looking at every food that she eats. its really hard. But It important for her health, and I'm glad I can help keep her safe through my experience cooking. I'm glad I can make her healthy food that doesn't make her sick. But its hard for both of us. I can't imagine how hard it is for her, though.



Stef is sick most of the time. She feels sick to her stomach, or she has a headache, or shes just really tired. She tells me, and I know its true. I don't know what to do about it, though. This makes me very upset, because I want nothing more in the world than for my wife to feel OK. I want her to feel better, and to be happy, and healthy. But we aren't there yet, and the doctor's don't know how to stop it yet, either.



I really felt sick today. I didn't want to get up. I loafed around the house. I took a nap. This was only one day for me, though. It was a single day of me feeling bad. Just one. and I fell apart. I still feel terrible. I'm writing my blog post about 8 hours later than I usually do. I' hazy headed. I don't feel quite right still. I can't imagine feeling like this all the time. I can't imagine constantly being afraid of the food I eat, or being worried that I’ll be sick when I'm out with friends.  I truly feel for her, and wish it could be better.



The hardest thing for us right now, is that people don't understand gluten allergies. They think its a fad, or a diet, or that she's "just saying that" to stick to some diet or ritual. Sometimes people think that gluten is hidden in random fruits and vegetables. Sometimes people will feed her gluten at a restaurant anyway, thinking that its "just for a diet." We've had it all happen. This makes it all the harder. There's no way for me to help with that. I wish there was.



Its amazing to me that my wife has gone through life feeling generally sick like this for YEARS. its been just over a year since we figured out her allergy. and It's been a great year for her. She lost a lot of weight, she feels a lot better, and things are on the mend. But its still hard. Its hard for her to go to work feeling this shitty each day. Its hard for her to say no to friends when they want to go out. Its hard for her to not be afraid of food. Its all hard and Just feeling crappy today reminded me of that. So hat's off to you, beautiful wife. A delicious gluten free home cooked meal is waiting for you.

How We're Doing It: Volume 3

Another followup post for what Stef and I are working on. It's been a fairly slow week for us as I had some friends visit from far flung lands, and spent a  good amount of time with them. However, things have plugged along as they usually do.

My wife's website is live and can be seen and subscribed to at www.fortunesnap.com Its still very bare, and there is much to be done. On the docket for this week:

add subscription sidbebars

get a background image to populate JUST on the home page (its amazing how difficult wordpress makes this...anyone willing to help?)

Begin to develop courses and create signup pages for each

Publish more of our blog posts.

This webpage is (obvously ) a very different model than this one. Where on this page I'll gladly throw up something that is no good, has typos, and nobody will probably ever read, on her page we want to make sure each post has quality content. As such, We've each been writing posts, then Stef will edit them, add information, remove information, and we'll curate each one to make sure it fits in the business model. Its a lot of work, but the content is starting to come together in a bit of a "path" that will help our clients better understand our mission.

Stef has also already gotten interest from co workers about her services. There are some friends of ours who are looking to buy homes, or just budget better, and they're willing to pay her to learn more. It's great, but also much faster than even I anticipated. As such,  I've told Stef that it might make more sense to do these first few for free, but in lieu of payment see if they'll let us record the interaction. This will 1) give us some footage to put on the page, which really helps with credibility and professionalism of the page, and 2)will let us look back on the interview with the client, and see what we can do better in the future. Everyone wins.

The youtube channel has gotten its first haters, which always means we're on the right path. we also have a slowly trickling in fanbase, so we're getting there. I'm hoping if we keep going it'll start to pick up speed a bit more, just like this blog has thanks to my daily postings. You can see the youtube channel Here

This week I'll also be working on the edits for Stephanie's 10 day free email course which will go out to all subscribers as they sign up. It'll help to add cred, and for her subscribers to better understand our product.  I'm hoping that it will be a broad and shallow coverage of the different things that Stef plans to cover in her blog, as well as an overview of what she will teach to her clients.

We're also planning on doing a weekly or maybe monthly podcast with Stef and myself. We'll talk about different techniques used for landing jobs, writing resumes, cover letters, purchasing homes, and the like. Hopefully we'll also soon have guests on the podcast as well, and maybe even a few clients who wish to share their stories. I'm still new to the podcasting thing, but I do have a nice microphone that I use for Streaming, so I'll just retrofit that for podcasts and we'll be ready.

All in all, a fairly slow week. nothing rolling out or booting up, but my adsense revenue got into dollars a day instead of pennies, which is a pretty big deal. Hopefully we'll see this silly experiment continue to grow.

What do you guys want to see on my wife's page? On the Youtube Channel? On The Blog? Comment and tell me and you'll probably see it. 

Don't Break The Chain

I've been a bit of a chain breaker the past few days. I missed my blog post yesterday, and I didn't get the you tube videos up on the channel that I wanted the past few days. I think I've been getting a little depressed. This winter is starting to get the best of me.



It has been a long winter. There's been a lot of snow. But I'm forgetting that last year we had 6 months worth of days with the weather below freezing. 6 months of winter in the Berkshires. It was ridiculous. of all years winter's, last year's was by far the longest.



But I'm getting off topic. You shouldn't break the chain. It's bad. It makes you lose momentum. It makes you lose track of what your end goal is. It makes you lose focus. and It makes you get depressed.



When I looked at what I had to do today to get back on track, it seemed like a lot. Two blog posts. Fixing and posting Videos. Working on new parts for Stef's website. on and on and on. I need to make a list, I need to make sure I don't miss anything I need to go over everything after its done, make sure its right, and then keep going. Oh yeah, and I need to follow up on a bunch of job postings. And raise my child. And clean the house. No big deal.



It gets overwhelming fast. I'm worried. I'm scared. I'm afraid I won't catch up on everything I need to do. Instead, I'm just starting. I know its noon, the day is half-gone, and I might not get to it all, but at least I've done SOMETHING. at least I've started. That's what really matters. I'll keep working on these things until they're done, because that's all I can do.



When it comes to self motivation, the only real answer is to start. There is no magical motivation gene. There is no magical vat of getupandgo that will solve all of your problems. You just need to go. And Sometimes is hard, really hard. If you don't do it, though, you will fail. I guarantee it. You need to keep working at things constantly or else you will never make it. If you keep going, you can't fail. It might just take a little longer than everyone else.



Now, I had a good excuse for my tardiness in work this weekend. My good friend Dan came to visit, and he's just landed a great job in his industry. Celebration was due, and it was a great time. He's an excellent friend, and I'm glad to have seen him. I'll always make time for friends, because there is nothing more valuable than good friends. I believe that completely. So what If I miss a few things that can be made up quickly?



I do have to admit it made me eel guilty, though. I wanted to stay on track no matter what, but it doesn't always work out. Sometimes things fall by the wayside, get sidetracked, and you miss what you thought were the most important things you could be doing. It happens. But in missing these things, I played with my daughter a little more, I got to see my friend and my daughter get to know each other, I got to enjoy a great breakfast my friend cooked. We went out to dinner, something we haven’t don’t in at least 5 months. we enjoyed great movies together, and rested, and recharged, and went back to our lives feeling better and stronger than we did before. It was important. It might have even been necessary. More for Stef and Dan than for me. I'm glad I could help.



It's hard when you break the chain. You feel bad, you wish you could take it back. And you can't. So I'm glad I felt so bad about it. I'm glad i took it seriously, because that's important. However, you gotta get over it, and just get back on the house and create a new chain. Keep that chain going even longer. Never break it, or maybe only once when its really important. That makes the most sense to me.



When you do something like this every day, you can get hard on yourself. Some posts are incredible. Some you tube videos are better than others. some days and weeks feel more productive. Sometimes you get sidetracked, lose motivation, lose drive, and it gets hard to pick your ass back up. Its happened to me many times in my life. Especially now, about a month ago. And I'm reminded of that. the fear of that scares me and keeps me moving. Wanting to be better for my family keeps me moving. Wanting to be better for myself keeps me moving. It's all so important, because my family, and my friends, and me are all that I have. Not so long ago, I would have put them in different order, but now I know that in the grand scheme of things, you're nothing without others. So invest in them. but make sure you invest in yourself along the way.



There are times in life when being selfish is important, and you gotta make sure that the chain isn't broken. As you grow you realize that you need to make sure that you're taking care of your family and friends too. Sometimes before yourself. It's an interesting transition as you grow: you've built up enough "Self" that you can give more, and help more, and it feels great. It's so important to be able to do that too, because it helps you grow as well. Sometimes more than if you had just invested in yourself. This is one of the greatest revelations I've ever made. I was so sure that you needed to look out for yourself first for so long. Now I know that your family and friends need to be taken care of first. almost always. Because if you don't have them, what do you have at all?



I’ve been alone before, I've been friendless, and I've been fine with it. I've lived on my own, and worked on my own, and its great, the quietness, the aloneness. I enjoy it, actually. But eventually you realize that you need those friends and family to share your achievements with. You need your family to support you when things get hard. You need friends to relax with and to share things with. Its the most important thing you can cultivate is a friend and family network. Because you can have the whole world, but if you can't share it with anyone, you're poorer than a pauper.  not in some measurement scale, but in how you'll feel. You'll feel so empty, and so bare. And when your friends come to share it with you, you'll understand then that your achievement are magnified by the number of people you share them with, not divided. It's one of life's greatest secrets.

It's OK To Be Afraid

I Think we've all been afraid before. If you tell me you haven't you're full of bullshit. I've spent most of my life denying it, though, so I understand. The only thing more difficult than being afraid is pretending you're not when you are. There are plenty of things to be afraid of. The bear that could attack my home in a blind rage for no reason. My wife leaving me. Never finding good, meaningful work. Losing everything.  Losing my mind. These are all things that I'm afraid  of. I think about them all the time.



I think the time when I should have been most afraid, I never felt fear once. When I was alone on the mountain with my mother and struggling to hold onto my sanity with a sick father. Sleeping 3 hours a night, and just not worrying about much. Just letting shit go. Why would I do that? How could I not be freaking out about how bad everything was, how it was never going to get any better, and how I was doomed forever to be a freakish insomniac that would never recover? That's what I would think right now.



Sometimes its too hard to be afraid. Sometimes I think your mind tells you "hey, I know you should be scared, but don't worry so much about that right now, focus more on how to get shit done. And your brain is right. Even when you beat the poor thing to death, and overtax it, give it no sleep, and make it jump through every hoop you can imagine, it'll still point you in the right direction. Its amazing just how strong your brain is. Or maybe that’s my inner strength. I don't know.



But being afraid is good. It tells you when you need to pay more attention to a situation. It tells you when the metal has started to hit meat, and when you need to make sure you're in it to win it. It's more important than most people give it credit. This is the greatest benefit I've gotten from the past month or so: I've realized that when I'm scared, its a great tool. I can realize this fear now, and utilize the energy it gives me to get new things done, because I don't want to be scared anymore. I want it to be right. I want it to be finished so I'm not afraid anymore. I want it all to fit together, to work, to be right. The fear I get gives me that strength.

I was so afraid before, that when I became scared it would be crippling. I would get tunnel vision, I would get dizzy. I would need to go to bed for days on end. That is real, crippling fear. Its terrible. Now, I see the fear, and I accept it, and we make friends. Then, together, we  move forward and make better of the situation. We learn, we change, and we grow together. and thanks to the fear, a friend I had never made before, I'm able to understand just how important it is that i get this shit done, and that I make this shit work, and I go and do it. I don't let it get to me. I let me get to it. And then, with that fear harnessed and pulling me forward, anything is possible.

The Perils Of Home Buying

My wife and I spent the better parrt of 3 years searching for the home that we currently live in. I'm glad we took the time. It has a gorgeous piece of land, in a nice neighborhood. The home is an updated colonial, and thanks to our savvy in getting some great incentives to update the boiler, has a brand new high efficiency heating system. We live in one of the best school districs in the area, and Sophia's grade school is literally in our back yard. It took us a long time to find it though, and we actually had three other homes fall through before we ended up landing this one.

Home buying is hard. Sure, there are plenty of options that one can take to ease the process. Zero down financing, Low money down financing, using hard money lending, Owner will cary....the list goes on and on. and we've explored all of these in our quest for the perfect first home for us. It is a little extreme how long we looked, but we wanted to leave a lot of wiggle room in the pruchase, and also make sure we got what we wanted. Unless you're pounding the pavement every day yourself and knocking on doors looking for a deal, finding the right house, at the right price, and making the right deal is a perfeect storm that really can take more than a year to formulate.

Let me spell out what I mean by that. Stef and I wanted a house that would a) put us in close proximity to her work in Pittsfield, a small city in the Berkshires. We also wanted to make sure we were in a good school system for our daughter. We wanted to find a house that was 90% finished, but probably needed some basic handyman stuff (the extent of my skill level with a hammer) and we wanted to buy this house at a price that would a) leave us at about the same or less monthly expense as when we were renting a home, and b) would appreciate in value reasonably over a 10 year period. We also wanted to make sure that the home would be one that we would be just fine living in for 10 years. This is a long, long list of criteria for a home purchase. I'm glad we waited until every one lined up, though.  I wake up every morning in this house, look around, and just feel good about every part of owning this home with my wife.

Why such strict criteria? Well, if there is one purchase you probably shouldn't comprimise on, its your home. Now I don't mean buy the house with helipad and 5 swimming pools, I mean buy the home that makes sense for your budget, for your lifestyle, and one that makes sense (in some small way) as an investment.

Our journey in home buying was indeed long. We started looking for homes very much in the "starter home" level. However, I knew that we wouldn't be happy in these homes for 10 plus years, so I kept looking at larger, more established homes in better neighborhoods, but these homes always needed too much work (extensive mold damage, no heater, ruined roofs and so forth) and so most of our searches were in vain. We also found a few homes in these price ranges that were great. We would negotiate these homes into a price range we could afford, and three times we had three different sellers back out at the last moment. What an emotional roller coaster. It just wasn't working.

The funny thing is that we didn't realize just how much home we could afford until we took a long hard look at our expenses in the home we were renting. We were renting a cute little ranch house with a garage, and an ancient, incredibly inefficient oil boiler. Stef and I both had never had any dealing intimiately with heating a home, so we just thought the the exorbidant heating cost was the name of the game. My mother's home in Vermont had a similar heat bill (although her home was about three times the size) so I thought nothing of it. It wasn't until I talked with a few of my friends with experience in heating that I found out that spending $6000 a year on heat was not normal, and in fact was skewing how much home we could actually afford.

armed with this knowledge, I dove headfirst into searching for how to set up effeicient heating in a new home that we would buy. I found a great article on Mister Money Mustache (here) that explained how to effectively insulate your home. My wife found out about MassSave, whih is an incentive program funded by the local electric company. This program gives you rebates on boilers, zero interst loans, and even a very low cost insulaion sure up done by professionals. as we did the math and crunched the numbers, we realized that if we were able to use these programs, we could essentially afford a much bigger, better home.

Armed with this information, we went looking in a higher price bracket. We found a few, made a few deals, and eventually someone bit. Thanks to some help from Stephanie's parents, we were able to close on what was really our dream home in three weeks. we used our knowledge we gained in learning about how to heat efficiently to sure up the home, get a new boiler installed with a zero interest loan, and even put blown insulation into the attic to help with heat retention. I installed a whole house exhaust fan as well, which pulls the hot air out of the house in the summer, and kept us to using an air conditioner for about 3 nights this past summer. All in all, we "upgraded" into a house that is about twice the size of the one we were renting, and our monthly expenses are far, far less than when we rented. It was a huge win.

I can't tell you how much buying this house in a wise way changed our lives. It made us feel more financially secure. It made us happier because we own a home we love, and we enjoy caring for it, fixing up things that need to be fixed, and just staying in it for an entire weekend. It really has been one of the best financial successes that either of us have experienced.

If you're looking to buy a home yourself, I would recommend reading up on some of the ways the Mister Money Mustache recommends purchasing. (here)

There are also some great calculators over at Bankrate.com that will help you figure out what makes the most sense. (here)

If you're trying to find homes in your area, and you really don't know where to start, be sure to hire a realtor. They don't cost you anything, even when you buy (the seller pays both realtors) and will be a huge help in picking something that makes the most sense to you and your family.

If you're looking for a comprehensive overview on how to effectively buy your first home, you can learn more about the calculations that my wife and I used to do it best on her blog. (here) She'll be rolling out her new mini-course on how to buy a home soon.

Until Next Time Remember: Take your time, you'll live in the house you buy for a long, long time. Spend commensurate time searching and doing the math.